Thursday, April 28, 2011

Whats My Song? Everything

Today I am feeling Happy Go Lucky so I thought I'd choose a song that best describes how good I'm feeling. ♥ Those of you who've been following me for awhile probably know about my love affair with Michael Buble...and for those of you who didn't know, well now you do!

I mean who could resist this face? Throw in his voice and this girl's in L-O-V-E!
I dedicate this song to my sweet cheeks who is thousands of miles away, sailing around the ocean. ♥ 
 "And through this crazy life, and through these crazy times, it's's you. You make me sing, you're every line, you're every word, you're everything."

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 "Whatever comes our way, we'll see it through...And you know that's what our love can do."


It's been a good day!

 This week marked the one month deployment mark, and although it started off slow, now time seems to be speeding on. I finally feel like I am gaining my confidence over this deployment. I am in a place now where I know we can do this together! :)

As you may know a few days ago my husband and I were having some "communication" issues and I was pretty upset. Although I may not have expressed my feelings in the nicest way, I finally feel like my husband understands why it's so important for us to be able to talk to each other, and really make each other a priority in our lives during this deployment. 

I am so happy to say he has been trying much, much harder. It's the little things like emailing me throughout the day or calling me before I go to work that help me get through the days without him. It makes me feel closer to him somehow, like he's really not that far away after all.

I got a phone call a little after 5 am this morning and we got to talk for a whole entire hour! It was pure bliss, and once I got off the phone I drifted back to sleep with a smile on my face.♥ 

I was a little tired today, but it made my whole day better just being able to talk to my husband and laugh and joke with him. I love hearing how he's doing and just being "us." 

After work I went and ran some errands and bought a bunch of goodies for my hubby's next care package. I'm so excited, I can't wait to send it out to him! ♥ I will post pics once its all together, and this time I got him more than just food and snacks. Hopefully he'll love everything I picked out. I just want to make him smile and give him something to look forward to while he is out there working so hard to support us and serve his country. I love you baby! ♥
Hope everyone is having a great week so far and to all my East Coasters out there be careful in this crazy weather. Those tornadoes are some serious business! Happy Thursday everyone! The weekend is in sight! :o)


A letter to my Husband

Dear Hubby,

I know I am not always the perfect wife...sometimes I get upset a little too easily and I have my days when I feel overwhelmed by this deployment and our life with the navy in general. But I want you to know that I am in this thing for the long run. I wouldn't have given up so much and spent most of our young married life waiting for you to come back for me if my heart wasn't in it.

Although I don't always like this lifestyle, I am grateful for it. There was a time when I took you for granted and the navy really opened my eyes up to what my life would be like without you, and quite frankly it sucked.

I love you more than I ever thought possible and I meant what I said when I stood before God, and all our friends and family and promised to spend my life with you. I can't wait to spend forever with you and grow old together.♥ Although we'll be apart for the next several months, this will seem like the blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things.

You're my husband, my best friend and the love of my life. I'll always be yours and I've never loved someone as much as I love you. I hope you know how much you mean to me, and that every day we are apart is another day I love and miss you more. Be safe out there and come home soon. I love you forever. xoxo


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

All Dressed Up: Birthday Dress

So most of you know about my "dress obsession." This past weekend I reorganized my closet and counted all my dresses. I have 45 to be exact! They take up almost an entire rack in my closet, but they are all near and dear to my heart...I just feel more feminine when wearing a dress, so of course I had to find the perfect birthday dress this year. 
 I'm in love with this lacey strapless dress I discovered at Wet Seal. It was love at first sight, and once I tried it on I knew it was "the one."♥
I couldn't resist these little rose bracelets! Here's a closer look.
I also found this adorable necklace to complete the look. 
I was just in love with this entire outfit...but i couldn't forget the perfect sandals. 
I felt super girly and lovely in this outfit. I really do believe what you wear can affect how you feel.♥ 
I had a great birthday and this dress helped make my special day complete. ♥ 
Now go link up at Lady's blog and share what your wearing this week! ♥xoxo


Birthday Margaritas And My Easter Sunday!

Since my birthday fell on Easter Sunday this year, I decided to "officially" celebrate it on Saturday. My love Sarah and I decided we NEEDED some birthday margaritas from Texas Roadhouse....and don't forget the fried pickles!!!! Mmmmmm...we went all out and it was so much fun hanging out with Sarah and her hubby. 
This was actually my first time drinking a frozen margarita...can you believe that? I think it was a good thing considering how much I liked it...I'll probably be drinking them all the time now! ;) After we finished stuffing our faces like our food was going to disappear, we headed to the Mall and did a little retail therapy. ♥ I happened to find another gorgeous dress for 50% off at Aeropostale and they give a military discount so I got an extra 10% off. Score!!!! My mom would be so proud, she's the one who taught me how to bargain hunt. :) 

I think we dragged poor Joshua all over the entire mall, so he was beginning to act a little loopy. We were busy trying to pick out some sunnies at pacsun when he tried these on and I HAD to take his picture! Lol! 
 He's pretty fabulous right? Gotta love the toothpick in his mouth and the popped collar. So classy! ;) lol!

We also hit up Hot topic where I found this adorable little cupcake lip gloss. Its coconut flavored and I absolutely love it! ♥ 
 Sometimes it's the little things in life that make a girl happy. :) I also found this amazing turquoise nail polish by black poppy while we were on our search for sunnies.
For some reason I didn't end up getting any, but we were having so much fun trying on all the different ones. I really liked these ones! :)
Look at us! That is double trouble for sure, and we even got asked if we were sisters which we both thought was funny. ;)
After roaming the entire mall for sales and just being silly, we decided it was time for the movie. We got some popcorn and went to see "Water For Elephants." 
 This movie was spectacular. I loved every minute of it. The story takes place in 1931, so I loved the vintage feel and look of the film...the costumes, hair and makeup were amazing! Reese Witherspoon looked even more gorgeous than usual and Robert Pattinson was looking pretty hunky as well. ;)
Although I didn't hear from my hubby that day, (stupid comms!) he did manage to send me flowers, a beanie baby and a sweet card. I also got my very own Coach bag! ♥ This is my first Coach purse and I am in LOVE with it! :)

I'll admit I was still bummed about not being able to see or talk to my husband this weekend, which I've already complained enough about...but I did get to talk to him today for a few minutes, which made me really happy. I know I need to try harder to be understanding about him being gone and not having control over certain things...and I know he does love me and want to be with me, otherwise he wouldn't have done all this for my bday. I guess it's easy to assume the worst when you can't talk at all and I think I was just going a little crazy, but I'm trying to be better and not get upset so easily. 

Anyway, overall Saturday was a GREAT day and I just wanted to say thank you to Sarah and Josh for making me feel loved and special!♥
Sunday was Easter and my actual birthday, so I headed to my other good friends Megan and Brian's house. Megan is Italian and is the best cook ever...we had stuffed mushrooms, ham, mashed potatoes, rolls, and a ton of other stuff. I always look forward to eating her cooking. :) They were sweet enough to get me a birthday cake and a cute card, which was nice. I can't remember the last time I had an actual birthday cake. 
I got to wear my Easter Dress which I picked out especially for that day. I love it!♥
 Overall it was a fabulous weekend and I really felt like my friends tried very hard to cheer me up and make sure I had a good time. I am so blessed to have made such sweet friends. ♥ I was bummed and missing my husband but I still managed to make myself get out of bed and try to put a smile on my face. Each day I'm hoping it'll get a little easier and I'm so thankful for the blessings I do have in my life. I hope you all had a Great Easter and were able to spend it with family and friends!


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Hold on Tight

The last few days have been challenging for me, and after talking to my mom tonight I realized I am on an emotional over load. I swear you'd think I was pregnant or pmsing but nope...just losing my mind a bit! ;) My hubby FINALLY called me today and now I feel really bad about complaining earlier. I knew all along it wasn't his fault but its still hard for me not to get upset when I don't hear from him, especially on important days. 

So for now I am taking a step back and trying to keep my emotions in check. I know I need to be stronger for my husbands sake and for the sake of our marriage. I know some people out there may not agree with me sharing my frustrations on my blog, but I am a very honest person and it helps me to write about the things that bother me. Don't get me wrong, I don't share everything on here because I do think some things are better left between my husband and I, but asking for advice or just venting on my blog usually helps me to calm down and get some perspective on the issue. Today that was definitely the case. 

I'm not going to pretend to have the perfect marriage...because the truth is, there is NO SUCH THING as a PERFECT relationship. Do I love my husband? Yes, more than anything! Does he love me? Of course! But does that mean we don't ever have disagreements or arguments? Certainly not.

Every couple fights whether you choose to admit it or not, marriage takes a lot of hard have to try every single day, and love that person in spite of the things they do that drive you crazy at times. I love my husband and I am tired of letting this deployment get to me so I'm choosing to be stronger...and to be thankful for my husband. Even if he doesn't call me everyday or express how much he misses me. I love him anyway, and we're gonna find a way to get through this hellish experience. I meant what I said when I promised to stand by him through good times and bad, and I'm gonna live up to that promise. I'm gonna hold on tight, cause I know we've got a good thing. ♥

 We already have one month of deployment down and only a million more to go, but we can do it! Our love is stronger than this b.s. and I have faith that the lord will see us through, no matter how many oceans are between us. ♥
I love you Baby! ♥



One thing I have learned about this deployment is that so far it's going to be a lot harder than the last one. I'm not sure if it's because we only had 2 weeks notice, or if it was because we only had six months in between deployments, or maybe it's because I am away from my family and friends back home...but for some reason this one just feels so much worse than the first one. I am not trying to complain..I have a point, I promise.

For the last week I had no communication with my husband whatsoever. Not a single email, phone call or fb message. Of course this had to happen the week of my birthday right? For the second year in a row we had to spend my birthday apart because he was deployed. I was already bummed, not to mention my bday happened to fall on Easter this year which made it two holidays rolled into one that I was missing my hubby and my family...I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't depressed about it.

So all week I was praying the comms would go back up and I'd get that phone birthday came and went and there was no call, no email, no nothing. I was heartbroken. I cried for an hour before I was so exhausted that I drifted off to sleep. I woke up Monday morning feeling as awful as I had the night before and checked my email to see a message from my husband. Even though I should have felt happy I felt something else...anger. I know I can't blame my husband, this is something he has no control over, but I still couldn't help but be mad.

I felt like screaming and punching someone! I was seriously infuriated and I just wanted to take it out on someone. Why couldn't I have gotten that email the day before? Why couldn't I just get to hear his voice, it was the only thing I really wanted for my birthday. I know you are all probably reading this and thinking I am a crazy person, but if that's the case then so be it. I feel like I AM going crazy. This deployment is messing not only with my head, but with my heart.

Everyday I read status updates or blogs of my friends who are going through deployments that get phone calls several times a week if not every single day! I know I should be happy for them that they have good communication with their hubby's but reading it seriously makes me mad and jealous. I have only gotten two, that's right TWO phone calls in the entire month my husband has been deployed. So even though he had an excuse for last week, what was the reasoning behind not calling more frequently the rest of the time?

At this point I am hurt and don't feel like he is putting in as much effort as he should to communicate with me. I know he is busy but he makes time to go to the gym or play video games with his friends, so why can't he make time to stand in line and wait for the phone? I know its boring to wait in line forever, but you'd think he would at least WANT to to talk to me. I guess that's what hurts my feelings more than anything. He has been so nonchalant about this whole deployment and it really bothers me that he just doesn't seem to care about anything. You'd think he'd care enough to want to call his wife.

I know I have been difficult lately to say the least, but like I tried to explain to my husband I have not been trained to simply turn off my emotions and become a robot like he is. I am a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, I always have been. If I am mad or sad you can tell by the look on my face. I'm a terrible liar and anyone can see through me when I try to put on a fake smile and pretend everythings ok.I know I need to work on my anger, but it's just so hard for me.

Last deployment I was just depressed a lot, but this time around I am ANGRY. I'm exhausted from this lifestyle and it hasn't even been two years yet. I seriously don't know how you ladies do it that have been married for years and keep going through all this. Its just not my idea of a good time. I want my husband home, I want to celebrate holidays, birthdays and anniversaries together. I don't want to spend all my nights alone, eating chocolate and samoa ice cream while I listen to sad music and cry my eyes out....again not my idea of a good time.

I need some advice, some prayers, some comfort...anything that you think might help. Cause at this point I'm losing my mind and this deployment is succeeding in wrecking my marriage and breaking my heart.


Friday, April 22, 2011

Birthday Weekend!

 That's right my lovelies...I'm gettin' old! This Easter
Sunday I will be the big 2-4! I can't believe it. And oddly enough my birthday has never fallen on Easter before, (at least that I can remember) so this year will definitely be a new experience. I managed to find two perfect dresses for this to wear out to dinner with my va beach besties and another to wear to Easter dinner on Sunday. I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow and enjoy two GLORIOUS days off of work!!! Eeeeekkkk!

I promise I'll be back to blogging by Monday and I will have lots of pictures for All Dressed Up next week. I missed it this week because of craziness at work, but it's one of my favorite posts each week and I love trying to be creative and find new outfits to wear. Mixing and matching things that you already have can really make you see your wardrobe in a whole new way! I also have been finding some great deals lately (like my $6.50 dress! you can see here) so being thrifty is always a plus! ♥

Anyway, today was a pretty good day at work. Everyone brought in food for my birthday and we had a delicious potluck! :) My favorite thing was probably the cookie dough brownies that my co-worker made...these brownies are amazing! I also got a Michael Buble cd that I'd been wanting for awhile and I really felt like everyone tried to make me feel special and loved today! ♥ 
...And check out these smokin hot pics of Mr. Buble...if I wasn't a married woman he would be in trouble! ;)
He is seriously dreamy! And that just makes me weak in the knees...♥ Ok, now that I'm done drooling...(Can you tell my husband is deployed?)

I also got a care package from my Mother in Law (or as I refer to her as my MIL) and it was so sweet and thoughtful of her. I got some nail polish...which I am addicted too btw, and she happened to pick 3 colors that I absolutely love...I also got some shopping money and some Easter goodies too! Thank you Ny, I adore everything you sent me! :) 

I'm super excited to have the next two days off work and be able to celebrate my  birthday with good friends. Tomorrow Sarah and I are going to see "Water For Elephants" and we're gonna go out to dinner.♥ It should be a great time and I'm dying to finally see this film...
I Hope you all have a Happy Easter weekend and enjoy the time with your family and friends...don't forget why we're celebrating...Jesus loved us so much that he paid for our sins with his own life and then rose again. That's a pretty amazing love if you ask me.♥
Happy Friday my loves! :)