Thursday, July 28, 2011

Whats My Song? Starlight

 Today I found out for sure, straight from the horses mouth that I won't be seeing my husband until next year. It's official and now I am asking for prayers so that my husband and I can both have the strength to get through the next seven months. We're going to need it.

This song brings me a strange comfort for some reason, as I keep telling myself we will make it. Go link up at Goodnight Moon with your song this week.

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing the starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

But I'll never let you go
If you promised not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

And I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms
I just wanted to hold



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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Weekend Bliss

Is it just me or does it seem like the whole week drags until you get to the weekend? Then time seems to fly by and before you know it, Monday is here again. I wish there were a way to have five days of weekend and two days of work. That would be amazing.

This past weekend was the first weekend I've had off and been able to sleep in for three whole months!! It was delightful and flew by in a flash. Friday night I was on such a high for some reason and after working ten and a half hours was hyper all night!

Sarah, her hubby and I went to dinner at one of my favorite places, texas roadhouse. Of course we had to get some delicious fried pickles and a frozen peach margarita. It's just a must. ;) I also got a loaded baked potato and an amazing sirloin steak.
After the movie we headed to my favorite theater and saw Captain America. I was dying to see this based on the previews looking so great, but I was highly disappointed. I HATED the ending, and when I say hate I mean it.
 The whole movie there is this love stroy going on between him and the main girl and they only kiss once the entire movie. Call me a sap, but I was expecting a little more than that. Booooo. Chris Evans did look pretty handsome though. ;)

Saturday Sarah and I had our first adventure together at Garden Ridge. I had never been and can I just say that I am in love? They have soooo many neat things there!!!

I wanted to buy the entire store but I settled for a few new things for our apartment. It definitely needed a little revamping. I promise I am going to post some photos soon. ;)

Sunday was an early morning filled with cleaning my apartment, doing laundry and getting ready to have Sarah and her hubby over for a swim in our lovely salt water pool and dinner afterwards. I made fiesta lime chicken, spicy corn on the cob, home made pasta salad and some toast.
 It was delicious!! It should probably be a crime how much I love food. I love to cook, but I think its mostly because I love to eat. ♥
For dessert I made strawberry shortcake. Just like my mom makes it. And it tasted just as good! Thanks Mom for being such a naturally good cook. ;) I think you passed it on to me.

My weekend was so jam packed with fun stuff, shopping, cleaning, and then relaxing that it was simply blissful. Ending it with a great dinner and dessert Sunday night made things even better and by the end of the day I was exhausted, (in a good way) and ready for bed.

I'm so thankful for the amazing people God has put in my life and for all my blessings. I have really felt happier the past few days and have gained a peace in my heart about a lot of things going on in my life. I finally feel like there is hope for me. And it's a really amazing feeling. ♥


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Help!!!

So remember how I mentioned a few months back that I wanted to get a custom design and change my blog name? That time has come and I am stumped for blog titles! I need your help people....

I want my title to reflect the things I love and tend to write about...life, love, beauty, music, movies, vintage and just me being me. Hmmmmm I can't seem to come up with anything good. I NEED ideas!!! Please help!


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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Baby You're a Firework

I don't know why but music has always had an inexplicable ability to amplify my feelings. For me it's not just about the beat or the artist, but more about the lyrics...they breathe life into a simple melody and suddenly you can see it all before your very own eyes. 

I have had Katy Perry's "California Dreams" album since last summer when it debuted and loved nearly every song on it. When they started playing "Firework" on the radio I was a bit surprised seeing as it wasn't one of my favorites. I never really stopped to listen to what she was singing about. 

Friday night I was driving to my friend Sarah's house, listening to that album when the song came on. And for the first time in probably 1,000 times of hearing this song I just stopped and listened. 

It may sound corny, or even silly to some...but the lyrics to this song inspired me on that sweltering hot Friday night. The last two years have been the most challenging and emotionally scarring years of my life. I have endured more pain and suffering than I would wish on anyone. 

Milspouses don't joke when they say this life isn't for everyone. It takes a special kind of breed to withstand the hardships, challenges, and curve balls the military lifestyle throws your way on a daily basis. You have to learn to grow thick skin, adapt to changes, make new friends and learn to live in the moment and always appreciate the little things. You learn not to take any time with the ones you love for granted.

Nothing can ever be planned, because once you start planning the military decides to change the plan and mess everything up. More often than not half the bed is cold and you find yourself making dinner for one instead of two.You spend months/years away from the love of your life that you will never get back. There is always a fear and uncertainty when they deploy and you wonder if God will bring them home safe and back into your arms once more.

But somehow, (and I am still trying to figure out how) you keep going. You keep getting up out of bed every day and breathing in and out. You find a way to live, even with all the craziness the military adds into the background of your life. 

I have had to dig deep inside myself to make it through the past two years, but I've had to dig even deeper over the last 4 months. I will be completely candid in saying these back to back and early 2nd deployment have nearly killed me. I think devastated would be the right term. 

But I am still here. I am still standing. And I am NOT giving up. 
There's something inside me that refuses to let the universe win and ruin my happiness and my marriage. Just like I told my husband yesterday, "It's you and me against the world." ♥

So when life has got you down and it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, just tell yourself, "Baby you're a firework."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe"


Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon


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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Happy Wednesday!

I love Wednesdays because somehow knowing the week is half way over already gives me the hope and strength I need to keep going each day. Then soon enough the weekend appears and it is one more week of deployment down! :-) 

This week marks 4 months that my hubby has been deployed and I am so excited!! 

Even though we're only about a third of the way done I keep telling myself that if the next 4 months go by as fast as the first four then we will already be eight months in and almost in the home stretch! Then before I know it, next year will be right around the corner and my hubby will be home! ♥

I'm trying to keep up this positive attitude and stay extremely busy so the days fly by. Thank you everyone for all your kind words and support you left on this post.  

I was having a rough weekend to say the least, and it was one of those situations where thing after thing kept going wrong. I realize now that I have to get back up when I fall down, and pick up the pieces of my life. 

It's not always easy but I know if I persevere then it will all be worth it when my husband and I kiss each other for the first time in 11 months on the pier at homecoming. That is what my heart is waiting for. ♥

Happy Wednesday Everyone!!


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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I think my apartment is haunted...

Since we moved here in March, I have had a hard time sleeping. Granted some of that may be due to the fact that my husband is deployed and sometimes its creepy living alone. You hear something go bump in the night and get way more freaked out than you normally would if your hubby was lying in bed next to you. 

So last night, or this morning around 5:30 am I woke up after having a very creepy dream. As soon as I woke up I felt someone or something breath onto my left ear and make a "haaaaaaa" noise. I was so freaked out! I said a quick prayer and demanded the evil presence leave my home. 

It did and after a few seconds I felt like I was alone again, but I was still creeped out. It took me awhile to go back to sleep after that and then I had another weird dream. I am so hoping to move outta here in march next year when our lease is up, cause I love this apartment but its not worth being scared every night that something weird is gonna happen. 

Has anything creepy like that ever happened to you?


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Monday, July 18, 2011

Dear Misery,

You have been a part of my life for far too long, and I have decided that you are no longer welcome here. Kindly pack your bags and get the hell out because I am done letting you control my happiness and my life. I am choosing to be the bigger person and make it through these trials with grace and dignity, so there is no room for you and your nonsense anymore. Don't let the door hit you on the way out!!! ;)




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Beauty Watch: Summer Love List

Since summer has arrived and is in full swing, I thought I'd compile a list of beauty essentials  I'm loving this season. ♥

With the sun blazing and humidity in full force, the first thing on my list would have to be my hot tools waver.

Have I mentioned how much I love this styling tool? If you don't have one, you need it!
This waver is a-m-a-z-i-n-g! It's super easy to use and gives you fabulous waves.

. I love doing my hair this way if I know I'm going to be outside a lot. 

Its perfect for a summer cook out or a day on the beach. 
 The humidity here in va beach makes it nearly impossible for me to wear my hair straight during the summer 
time, so this is a great alternative for those of you with the same problem. 

Here are a few photos so you can see the end result.
Love, love, love it!! ♥ 
Next on my list would have to be the NYX "Nude on Nude" Palette. 

Not only does this handy little collection come with 9 natural shades for your eyes and 2 lip glosses, but its very compact and easy to take on the go.
 I love using three or four shades together and I like the fact that there are a few "shimmery" shades as well as some "matte" shades. 

The pull out lip gloss tray is genius, and the colors are gorgeous! ♥ 

When it comes to summer time, you definitely need a good lotion to keep your skin looking soft and sunkissed. 

Two of my favorites right now are Hempz Herbal Body Moisturizer and Ulta Vanilla Sugar Moisture Intense Body Butter. 
The Hempz smells like breezy floral and strawberry banana and makes your skin so soft and glowing. 

This is the lotion I use everyday! It works great for your whole body and will leave you feeling fresh and smelling summery and sweet. ♥ 
The Vanilla Sugar body butter smells amazing and has a deeper moisturizer.

I usually use it on my arms and elbows, just to add a little extra pampering for my skin. :) (sorry the pic is so small, it was the only one I could find!)
One of my favorite summer essentials this year is the "Getaway Glamour" 58 piece collection from Ulta. I am in love with all the different colors and varities I can try out. 

There are a ton of gorgeous eyes shadows as well as 8 lip gloss shades, powder, blush, bronzer, sparkly lip gloss and some black and brown eyeliner. 

Basically everything you need to look gorgeous! :)Here's a shot of me wearing one of the eyeshadows from the collection, called sage. I adore this eyeshadow!
I also can't get enough of this mac blush called "dainty." Its shimmery and light and makes your whole face glow. 

Well lovelies, there are probably a million more things I could post but that's all I have for now. :)

I'll be sure and post anything else I come across and happen to adore this summer. ♥

What products are you loving this season?



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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Heartbroken

"How the hell does a broken heart get back together when it's torn apart? Teach itself to start beating again?" 

I was driving down the road today headed towards my friend Sarah's house when Christina Perri's "bluebird" came on, and it was the perfect song for how I've been feeling lately. 

I had an awful day and can't use any other word besides heartbroken to describe how I feel. 

Next week will be 4 months since I have seen my husband's handsome face, kissed his lips or felt his arms wrapped around me. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to find the happiness I seek. 

Without him here my life isn't complete. Most days I just feel like a zombie, walking around aimlessly in this great big world. I keep trying to be "positive" (mostly for his sake) but I just can't be. I am not happy, not at all. Not even a little bit.

I hate my job, I miss my family and my husband, but mostly I feel cheated of the time we should have been spending together the last 4 months. 

At this point we still don't have an "official" homecoming date, but it's looking more like I won't see my husband until next year. Yes, you read that right, I said NEXT YEAR. By the time he comes home he will have been gone almost an entire year. 11 months to be exact. For the second year in a row we have been torn apart.

Thinking about it makes me want to crawl under a rock and never come out. 

The last two years have changed me so much, and I have never experienced this much pain and heartache in my entire life, and that is saying a lot because I have had a lot of family issues growing up. Somehow none of that even compares to what I have been and am currently going through now. 

I used to be this strong, outgoing and independent person. I loved my life and only wanted my husband and I to have the chance to spend it together. I knew the navy was going to be a hard life and a HUGE adjustment, but I remained positive and believed we would make it. 

Now I look in the mirror and that person is gone. Instead there is a miserable, lonely and distrusting person in her place. Somewhere over the last two years and all the pain, heartache and crap I've had to deal with as a result of my husband's career choice, I've lost myself. 

I am damaged, I am broken, and I am giving up

There's just nothing left to do and nothing I do is good enough.

The worst part of it all is that I feel like I am losing my husband because of everything going on. I just don't know how to make things better or fix what is broken. 

Because I am heartbroken, and I don't know how to change that. I don't think I'll ever be the same after all this.


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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Hello Again...

It's been awhile since I've blogged, but I have good reasons! I've been so busy with work, trying to get registered for college and last weekend I made a trip out to the Golden State to visit mi familia.

I have been running on no sleep for weeks and have been trying to recuperate the last few days...sorry I've been such a bad blogger! ;) 

It really is a full time job keeping up with this thing, so when you actually have a full time job and a million other things going on its a little difficult to post everyday. 

I know you are all dying to hear about my trip so I won't keep you in suspense any longer. It was fabulous...and stressful...and heartbreaking, but it was worth it. ♥ 

"Families are the compass that guide us.
They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter." -Brad Henry

It was so amazing to see my family again, it was like I had never even left. We were laughing, joking and I couldn't help but wish I had moved back home for this deployment. 


However, since I don't have a time machine, (anyone know where I can get one?) there's nothing I can do about it now. Even though I missed my family tremendously, I realized somethign while I was in California. I missed Virginia!!! 

And I don't mean kinda missed it...I mean I missed the green everywhere, the beautiful flowers and trees and the ocean front. I realized that I am lucky to live in such a beautiful place right near the ocean, even if there are certain things I don't like about it.


Kinda weird right? :/ I thought so too! Maybe it's because Virginia is where my hubby and I had our first home together and where I know he will be when he comes home from deployment. Whatever the reason, I realized I will miss this place when it comes time to move on.

Well that's all for now loves, its already way late here on the east coast and I have an 11 hour work day tomorrow...Yipppeeeee!!! Not to mention its the 15th and a Friday all rolled into one, which means it's gonna be one hell of a day at the bank. Lord give me strength. 

I'll be back soon and with lots of pics, and the full scoop on my mini vacay...I promise!! ♥ Til then here's a little tease. :)

Ciao!!! ♥







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