Monday, March 12, 2012

Dreams VS. Reality

One day. That was all it took. One day to realize how boring my job is. Right now I am getting back into the swing of things and although I was growing weary of staying home for a month, I'll admit I missed the people I worked with and my favorite customers more than the actual job.

I think the reason I am so bored with this job is that is goes against everything that I love. It's completely void of any creativity and basically requires me to be a robot for 8 hours or more each day. It's the same thing day in and day out. I never really considered myself to be a creative person until I sat down and thought about who I really am. The things I love, my hobbies and what I want out of life and a career. In short, what makes me,

I have always loved music & have been singing pretty much from the time I could talk. I know I probably annoyed my mom and sisters so much growing up! I was in show choir, an audition choir, dance, drill team, cross country and track and was always keeping busy and trying to be involved at school. As I got older I really got into fashion and started working as a sales associate at a clothing retailer and after a few months was promoted to manager. Although working retail had it's pitfalls I had a job with a lot of creative freedom and the ability to create beautiful things.

I would place new merchandise throughout the store each day and create looks for customers and displays. Although we were given an outline for our floorsets (which colors, fabrics, patterns etc go with each wall theme) I had the chance to create something lovely each day at work. It was almost like making my own puzzle. It used to make me so happy when customers would come in and want the outfits I put together and the walls I would merchandise would sell out.

When I think about it, I guess it makes sense that I would be more inclined to want a creative job. My mother & grandmother are both very creative. When I was a child my mom would sew all the time and I still remember the year she recreated the entire pocahontas costume from the disney movie, (it was one of my favorite films at the time) for me to wear for Halloween. It was way better than any cheap costume I could have bought at the store and she even found me some real moccasins from the thrift store. I was in heaven.

She's also very talented at interior design. Anyone who's been to my Mom's house can tell you, it's decorated beautifully and she is always changing things or adding something new. When you walk into her house it looks like something out of a magazine! My grandmother is also very talented at painting and design.  She is always finding new diy projects to make her home more interesting! They are both amazing cooks!

I've heard people talk about the whole "Right brain VS. Left brain" theory and decided to take the test to see which one I was. Not surprisingly I am more "right brained" than "left brained." According to the online test this means, "The right side of your brain controls the left side of your body. In addition to being known as right-brained, you are also known as a creative thinker who uses feeling and intuition to gather information. You retain this information through the use of images and patterns. You are able to visualize the "whole" picture first, and then work backwards to put the pieces together to create the "whole" picture. Your thought process can appear quite illogical and meandering. The problem-solving techniques that you use involve free association, which is often very innovative and creative. The routes taken to arrive at your conclusions are completely opposite to what a left-brained person would be accustomed. You probably find it easy to express yourself using art, dance, or music. Some occupations usually held by a right-brained person are forest ranger, athlete, beautician, actor/actress, craftsman, and artist. "

The whole analysis was pretty interesting and a lot of the things they mentioned were right on for me personally. I'm not sure how accurate this test is but I wasn't too surprised at the results. I know I am a more creative person than a logical one and I have a hard time dealing with math and other boring things. Which would explain why I am bored to tears working at a bank. How did I end up here? Lol!

Lately I have been doing a lot of soul searching and praying about my future and career choices. I know I am not doing what I am meant to do, but at the same time I can't really afford to just quit my job and "follow my dreams." I would love to go to school for fashion merchandising and make a career out of something I enjoy so much, but getting the education to do so would cost me about $80,000 at The Art Institute which I of course don't have. I would feel terrible putting us into so much debt if I were to get student loans and pursue this dream.

I guess what I am trying to articulate is that there is so much more out there than what I am doing right now. The dreamer in me wants to dive in and go for it, while the realist's voice is in the back of my head saying it would be foolish to do such a thing. I know it's extremely important for me to work considering today's economy and the fact that the military doesn't exactly pay well for enlisted service members. I also have to think about the fact that as a military spouse who can be told to pick up and move at any time, and told to go anywhere that my school and career options are limited as long as my husband remains in the service.

 I know he won't be in the military forever, but until he is out for sure and we can stay in one place I feel like it's going to be extremely difficult for me to have a successful career doing something I love. Heck, even having the opportunity to finish school in one place would be nice, which at this point won't happen since we don't have too much time left in Virginia.

I guess I am just trying to figure it all out and the fact that I'm not getting any younger makes me feel even more pressure to do so. I really just want to have a career that will challenge me yet allow me to be creative and enjoy working! I dislike coming home everyday and complaining to my husband how unhappy I am with where I am with my schooling/career. I want to be proud of myself for completing a degree and have a job that I love. Maybe that's just asking too much? I don't really think so, but I guess only time will tell. It's definitely going to be an interesting journey of self discovery! Is anyone else out there struggling with anything similar to this?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Last Day of Freedom

Today is officially the last day of my hubby's leave and we both go back to work tomorrow! I am amazed at how fast the last two weeks have flown by and that he has already been back in Virginia for a month now. Why does it seem like time goes by insanely fast when they are home but drags on endlessly while they are gone??? It's something I'll never understand! 

Although it has been so nice to have a month off of work I'll admit I was starting to get a little bored. I am excited to see all my coworkers and to be making some money again! :) I'm hoping things are less stressful once I go back but after talking to some of my coworkers I suspect things have only gotten worse. I'm just gonna keep praying and trying to stay positive and get through each day so I'm hoping that will help. 

Since today was our last "official" day of freedom we spent it relaxing at home & watching movies. We also took a drive by the ocean and got some yummy pizza and wings for dinner. Now I'm off to snuggle with my hubby before we both have to hit the hay! ♥ Goodnight! 

Monday, March 5, 2012


"Family means putting your arms around each other and being there." 

Since I kind of slacked off in the blogging department over the last few months I never did get around to sharing photos of my trip home for Christmas while my husband was deployed. I recently learned how to make photo collages & wanted to share this one of my beautiful nieces & sisters. 

It's still so odd to me that I live 2,700 miles away and can't see them more than once or twice a year. We are all very close and when I lived in California we were always together. ♥ 

I miss them all dearly & hubby & I are hoping, praying, & keeping our fingers crossed for San Diego orders next year if hubby's pts gets approved.
 Please say a prayer for us so we can be close to home & our wonderful families. We miss them all so much!

Are you lucky enough to live close to family?