Today is the day

My mother in law is flying in tonight to spend the next week with us and celebrate my baby boy's first birthday! This will be the first time we've seen any of our family since our visit to California in April. I am so looking forward to making memories and celebrating with her, I only wish all of our family could be here to celebrate with us. 

I'm hoping we can take a visit down to St. Augustine once the weather warms up a bit, (this arctic blast is no joke!) and do some sightseeing. We've also gotta get everything ready for Jeremiah's 1st birthday celebration which I have not planned a single thing for yet. 

I know, I know....MAJOR PROCRASTINATION!

 I know I said I was gonna work on my procrastinating, but in my defense these last two weeks have been crazy busy between the holidays, multiple interviews, searching for a daycare, applying for fee assistance and doing my drug screening for my new job. There has been so much going on that my head is still spinning!

 I can't wait to spend some quality time together while my mil is here. I want to soak up every moment with my family and especially my sweet boy before I go back to work soon. It's going to be here before I know it. 

Happy Wednesday everyone! ♥

New Beginnings

I can't believe it's already January! The new year always means a chance to start fresh and lots of changes and this year is no exception. In just a few short days My baby boy will be one year old and I simply can't wrap my head around it. 

We had a wonderful holiday season and I have been soaking up every moment with my sweet little boy because my days as a stay at home mama are numbered. 

By the grace of God I have found a full time banking job and will be going back to work in the next few weeks. I am experiencing so many emotions when it comes to this and although I was thrilled to be offered the position I wanted, my heart is also breaking at the thought of placing my baby in daycare. 

I may have cried the other night when I actually sat down and realized I will only see him for about 2 hours each day during the week. I don't know how I'm going to handle it but please pray I find the strength. ♥

Right now I'm in the process of trying to find great and affordable child care and its proving to be more difficult than I initially thought. Some places want over $900 per month. Its literally insane. 

I'm just trying to navigate through these feelings and situation because its all new to me. I remember so many times over the last year seeing friends who had babies have to leave them and go back to work, and how incredibly lucky I felt to be able to stay home with my son. The last year has truly been a gift and one that I will cherish all the rest of my days. 

However, each chapter in our lives must come to an end and sadly this one is ending. Although I'd love to stay home with my son longer, its for the best for me to work. So now I will be starting a new adventure and I hope its a good one! :)

{Ringing in the New Year with my little family}

I can't wait to see what this year brings for my family and I  am choosing to see the blessings even when its hard. I hope you're all having a wonderful 2014 so far. ♥

Growing up

Change isn't something that usually happens overnight, instead it tiptoes in slowly, quietly leaving its mark on your life. I realized that this morning as I chased my ten month old around the house, playfully dashing after him while he crawled at light speed. "Where has my little newborn gone?" I stopped and thought to myself while catching my breath. The chubby little rolly polly who couldn't even sit up on his own and nursed what seemed like every hour? It seems as though it was just yesterday. At times the days and weeks seemed to drag on, while other days flew by. In a few weeks my little baby will be eleven months old and no sooner will I blink and he'll be a year. They say the days are long but the years are short and well, they couldn't be more right. 

{Newborn Bubby...one of my all time favorite pics of him snoozing so peacefully. ♥}

Its a beautiful yet incredibly bittersweet feeling to watch your children grow up. I have good days and bad days as a stay at home mom, but always try my best to soak it all in. To cherish the days filled with more kisses than I can count, to capture the moments when he does something new for the first time, and to just remember him how he is now, at this very moment. ♥ I know he will continue to change and grow, and I am so grateful for the chance to witness it. 

   

{Dancing on his changing pad. For some reason it was always his happy place♥}

These days he is curious, stubborn, playful and sweet. I am constantly amazed by how fast he learns new things. Recently he started calling me "Mama" and I can't deny it melts my heart every time he says it. :) 

{Getting him dressed is definitely a challenge now that he can move so fast!}

I'm so lucky to have such a smart and smiley little boy. His favorite time of the day is bath time! He loves splashing and playing with his bath toys, along with eating the bubbles every now and then. ;)

{Bathroom selfies! So fresh & clean after his bath.}

He is learning everyday and has recently started snuggling anything and everything he can. Every time he does this, I die a little, simply because its so damn cute. ;) I can actually tell him to go snuggle Elmo and he will go find him, pick him up and snuggle him!! ;') 

{Elmo & Bubby snuggles♥}

He's also a fan of his monkey. ;) These two are the things he loves to snuggle most, other than me! 

{Sorry its blurry, but this little guy moves fast!}

 Recently we took Bubby to a park near our house and he got to go on the swings for the first time. Seeing the smile on his face as the wind rushed past him was a memory I will cherish forever. 

{Weeeeeee!}

We're also trying to start good habits by brushing his four little teeth everyday which proves to be quite the challenge. This little guy sure gives me a run for my money when it comes to this! ;) 

{Toothbrush shenanigans...}

Things are changing each day around here, and its a beautiful thing.♥

What's changed in your life recently? 

Hello again

Well, I did it again. I fell off the face of the earth as far as my blog is concerned. I have no idea if there is anyone still even following my blog, with how little I've written over the past year. I miss it so much. Sometimes before bed I have so many thoughts running through my mind that I think to myself, "I should write this down..." but most nights I'm just too exhausted to, so instead I say my prayers, count my blessings and snuggle with my beautiful baby boy.

 So much has happened the last few months and I can't even believe it but somehow my son is already seven months old. And did I mention he is crawling already? Yes....oh how fun that has been! It has been so exciting seeing him learn new things each day and watching his little personality develop. He makes me smile and laugh more than I ever thought possible, but he also tests my patience and pushes me to be a better mama each day we spend together. I know I don't always tell my husband this, but I'm extremely grateful for the chance to stay home with him and witness all his firsts. It's something my mom never got to do with me or my sisters so I don't take it lightly.

Other than staying home and taking care of my little man I have also been trying to find us a house. We are getting ready to pcs here in October and are moving down to Jacksonville Florida! I am very excited for the change but also sad to be leaving so many wonderful friends behind. The military lifestyle is very bittersweet sometimes...

We really wanted to do base housing but only had two months notice for these orders. The wait for housing is 6-9 months so it looks like we will have to rent a place out in town. I am amazed at how much house you can get for your money out there though. You can rent a three bedroom house for the same amount or less than what we pay here in Virginia Beach for a one bedroom apartment! It's pretty crazy, but I am so looking forward to getting out of this cramped apartment and getting us into a nice house.

Husband's house hunting leave just got approved so we are going to drive down to Florida next weekend and look at a few places. I really hope we find something nice in our price range not too far from the base. Wish us luck! Well that's all for now but I will try to be better about keeping my blog updated. I really miss writing everyday. Hope everyone has a great weekend. :)

New Look

Well lovely readers, I've finally done it. My new design is complete and I am loving the change. ♥

Now that everything has been updated I am excited to share some new posts with you all and have some exciting things coming up. I am headed back home to California for a visit with my family this week and I couldn't be more excited. Expect to see lots of pictures from our trip!

I will also be posting updates on our little munchkin & am currently working on his birth story. It's a piece that's very near and dear to my heart so I hope you all enjoy reading it once I'm finished. Until then, have a lovely day! ♥

Inspiration

For so long I felt uninspired, it was like my brain had bloggers block. I prayed God would send me some wisdom and a dash of creativity to launch my blog in a new direction, because the truth is I love writing. It gives me a way to release emotions that otherwise have no place to go. I can't stress enough how much I missed it since Isaiah came home from deployment number one. During that first deployment I wasn't working and had time every single day to write my blog, as well as reading other blogs & building relationships with my fellow bloggers.

Since moving to Virginia and starting work right away, my free time was basically next to none. Spending time with my husband in the rare moments when we both weren't working took priority. I am glad it did because he was only home for a few months and in February 2011 he deployed for the second time and was gone for an excruciatingly long eleven months. The day he left marked the beginning of the hardest year of both of our lives. Even though I had more free time with my husband deployed, I just couldn't seem to find the words.

My faith and our marriage were both tested and there were so many times when I felt like giving up entirely. There was such an utter sense of hopelessness and my heart ached only for us to finally have some time together. When it was finally time for him to come home, it didn't even feel real. I couldn't actually grasp the fact until I was driving to Naval Station Norfolk to pick him up. Our first two weeks together were perfect and after that reintegration really began.

Sometimes when I think back on it all, it seems like a bad dream, a blip in time. Although while going through it, it felt like the longest eleven months of my life. I am so thankful to God for getting us both through it and bringing him back to me safely. You know the funny thing about love is, you think you love someone more than anything and yet somehow as you go though life and endure it's hardships that love grows even deeper. You realize you love that person even more than you thought possible, and this realization makes you thankful for that love. I look at my husband now and can't believe how far we've come. I wonder how I got so lucky. What did I do to deserve a love like ours?

I still don't know, and perhaps I never will but I am blessed and thankful for it. Sure we have our spats and plenty of obstacles have shown up in our path, but somehow God has gotten us through it all. After the hardest year of our lives he has blessed us with a beautiful little boy growing inside me. Every day is one day closer to meeting our son and our dream of finally having a family will soon be coming true. With every kick and movement I feel so lucky for all that the Lord has given us.

It is because of this gift that I choose to share our story with you all, the story of our love and our lives. As we embark on our newest adventure into parenthood, I want to remind myself to live in the moment. To soak in everything around me, embrace the changes, and enjoy the little things. Welcome to my new blog and I hope you all enjoy reading about the next part of our journey!

Changes!

Hi there everyone! It has been so long since I blogged & there have been so many changes in my life these past few months. If any of you remember reading about all my health issues/embarrassing encounters at the Drs. office a few months ago then by now I can officially tell you all why I was so sick...is the suspense killing you yet? No...ok, well I'll tell you anyway! ;) 

We are expecting our first baby in January!! Those of you who are friends with me on fb or instagram already know this because I revealed it there about a month & 1/2 ago. I was super paranoid during my first trimester that I waited until I was 16 weeks to pretty much tell anyone other than my family and closest friends. I am now about 24 weeks and can't believe how big my baby belly is getting! 

(Here is my most recent baby bump pic taken 2 weeks ago, or 22 weeks!)

It is such an amazing feeling to know that my husband and I have been blessed with this pregnancy & God is using us to create a life! We are absolutely thrilled & I feel so lucky to finally have the opportunity to start our own family. I have wanted this for so long & now we only have to wait a few more months for our little baby to make an appearance! ♥ Until then I am no longer working as of this week & will have lots more free time to update my blog. :) 

I would really like to change the direction of my blog & start adding more recipes and diy crafts I plan on trying. I have so many new things I want to make for fall, so we will see how that goes. I also plan on doing a weekly baby bump update so stay tuned for that as well! Anyway, I hope you all had a great weekend!! xoxo! 

I'm alive, I promise

It has been so long since the last time I blogged, but I promise I am not dead! I took a hiatus from social networking (for the most part) and completely cut off facebook, twitter and blogger because it was all just getting to be too much. There were certain people that were driving me insane and I just needed a break from it all. After a few months I am trying to get back into the swing of things and am gonna start updating my blog more often. Recently I have been having some health issues and was unable to go home to California for our family vacation this year. :( To top it all off after that I caught a nasty cold my husband brought home and have been trying to fight it off for the last four days. Sometimes it feels like I can't catch a break but I am trying to remain positive and believe everything will work out for the best.

My poor husband has been dealing with me being sick and emotional and has been a champ at taking care of the house and cooking dinner, doing laundry etc. which I really appreciate. It is so hard to do those things when you are not feeling well! Anyway, I am on "vacation" from work until Thursday but since I have been so sick I haven't even left the house since last week. At least I don't have to worry about work for a few more days, and I am praying to be better by then so I can go in. I would love to get better a little sooner so hubby and I can have a beach day or just enjoy our time off together but I'm not holding my breath.

On a happier note, exam results came out a few weeks ago and my husband passed! I am so proud of him for becoming a petty officer and knew all his hard work would pay off. We have been through so much together since he joined the navy and it has made us both change and grow. This year has a lot of anniversaries for us, it will be five years that we have been together, three years that we have been married (In August) and three years of navy life! Its amazing how fast time flies when you're spending your life with someone you love, (and how slow it goes when you're apart!). We are still waiting to here back on the status of his PTS results, (for those that don't know PTS stands for "Perform to Serve" which is basically the navy's way of weeding out sailors and deciding who is allowed to reenlist.) It's a pretty scary thing, not knowing if you're husband will still have a job once his contract is up, especially in this horrible economy.

Since we are almost done with sea duty we are praying and hoping that his PTS gets approved so we can get the heck out of Virginia and hopefully get back on the West Coast. If all goes as planned and PTS is not a problem then we will be scheduled to leave Virginia in March of 2013 and head to our new duty station. I am so ready for a change! It has definitely been a good life experience moving across country and starting a life together, but this just isn't where we want to be. I know there are no guarantees with the navy but I am a California girl all the way and I need my sunshine and beaches! It's just not the same here in VA. I am also looking forward to a job change when we move because I am so bored and hating my work situation right now. Over all I think we are both ready to move onto the next chapter in our lives and see what God has in store for us! :) 

I finally did it!!!!

Hello there bloggy loves! So after months and months of talking about changing my blog name, I finally took the plunge and did it!

I am officially now "The Vintage B." I was inspired to transition to "Vintage B" since it has been a nickname I've used for years and I feel like it just fits...in short, it's me. :0)

Don't worry, I'm still going to blog about the trials and triumphs of navy life, but I'd also like to include other topics and open my blog up to a wider audience.

I'm not sure how to change my url or if that will affect whether or not my followers will be able to see my posts in their readers, but once I figure it out I will be changing it.

I would also like to thank my real life bloggy friend Brittany over at Tales of a Sailor's Soulmate for all her help brainstorming and basically redesigning my entire blog!! I am loving it! :)

There are new and exciting things coming up on the blog and I believe that a giveaway is in the near future! I hope you all have a great Thursday!

Starting fresh

I am ready for a new beginning in my life. I have been itching for a change. 

I spent some time redesigning my blog and tidying it up a bit. It was too cluttered and I was growing tired of the same old same old.

I am still trying to think of a new blog title, as I am breaking away from the typical "milspouse blogger" mold. There is so much more to me than that. :-)

I have decided that I will choose a few names and take a poll on my blog as to which name fits my personality and blog better.

I want something that is uniquely me, and reflects the things I love to write about. 

Here's to hoping my brainstorming can come up with something spectacular! 

I've been thinking...

I don't know why, but lately I have just been completely exhausted. I've been so busy with work, trying to make time to email and talk to my husband and just trying to keep the house clean that I feel like I'm on overload. Between paying bills, grocery shopping and cleaning my house, I haven't had much time for fun or blogging. So I do apologize to all my readers for being m.i.a. over the last month or so. It really does make me sad because I love blogging and I feel bad for letting all of this keep me from doing something I adore.

Next week we will be entering the three month mark of my husband's deployment and sadly we still don't have a homecoming date. That makes it extremely difficult to cope with him being gone. I really just wish we would find out when they are coming home so I can mentally prepare and know how long I have to endure this evil thing. :( I'll admit I have been trying to stay positive but am not having much success. I don't know why I am having such a hard time lately, but my anger issues seem to be rearing up again. Perhaps I need to invest in a punching bag or join a kickboxing class so I can get my frustration out in a healthy way. At least it's something to think about! ;)

Lately I find myself getting so mad that I want to punch people, especially my husband! I don't know why my anger about this deployment manifests itself towards him, but I can't help but find myself easily irritated and annoyed when talking to him. I know it is not his fault for being gone, but I can't help but feel abandoned by him. Our two year anniversary is coming up in August and it breaks my heart that I have spent nearly the entire two years of our marriage alone. Most of the time I don't even feel like I am married at all. I know it is not my husband's fault that he is gone and that if he could choose to stay home and be with me he would, but for some reason I'm still hurting. My head knows that's true but my heart is having a hard time comprehending it.

Lately I find myself pushing him away in hopes that it will make it easier for me to cope. I feel like sometimes he does the same thing too. I don't know how to stay close to him while he's gone without missing him so much that my heart is always hurting. It sounds crazy, and maybe I am going a little crazy with everything going on lately but I am praying I can find a way to make things better. I love my husband so much and the last thing I want to do is push him into someone else's arms. This lifestyle is incredibly lonely at times and can really put things into perspective as far as what's really important in your life. It has made me realize how important family and friends have been in supporting me through everything the navy has put us through over the last two years.

It's definitely been a long, hard and interesting journey, and has made me grow as a person...but I feel like I still have a lot of growing to do. I have also been thinking a lot about the future, since I have so much "alone" time to think about anything and everything under the sun. My job environment has sadly not gotten any better. In short, I am miserable there. It's creatively stifling, boring and just a horrible environment altogether. Nothing we do is ever good enough and I am not the only person who is miserable, pretty much everyone has expressed the same feelings. I have realized things are not going to get any better. So I have a tough choice to make. I have been searching for part time jobs so I can move on to something less stressful and more "part time."

College has been put on the back burner for me the last two years due to my husband's career. The timing of him joining boot camp and when we were supposed to move to va last year prevented me from enrolling in the spring of 2010. Then when my husband was deployed immediately after a-school last year, our move was put on hold until right before his return in August. With us moving, getting settled in and just starting out as a married couple things weren't exactly easy financially and I had to start working at the bank. What started out as part time has now become full time and left me feeling cheated of the opportunity to continue pursuing my education. 

Unlike some people I actually enjoy school, and it is my dream to finish college and become a history teacher. Experiencing all this heartache with the navy the last two years has made me realize that I MUST finish my education if we ever want to make it without the navy and if I ever want my husband to be around. Some people love this lifestyle, and although there are some perks that come along with it, I think there are alot more downfalls. 

I want the opportunity to spend holidays, birthdays and anniversaries with my husband. I want the opportunity to actually be able to work on our marriage. I don't know how to keep it alive from thousands of miles away, and I am running out of ideas and patience. In short, I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I am miserable, and I don't want to be. So today I am getting my butt in gear and going to the fleet and family support center to search for a new job and update my resume. Something has got to change in my life, and quickly before I lose my mind. I am the only one that can make that happen, so I am taking things into my own hands. Please say a prayer for me, I really need it! 

"You can't leave everything to fate...She's got a lot to do, sometimes you must give her a hand." 

Anyway, I must go throw myself into the world of job searching and making strides to change my unhappiness. Thanks for reading and I'm sorry this post ended up becoming a novel. I'll try and keep updating regularly so my posts aren't so long winded. :) I hope everyone has a happy Monday!