Monday, October 1, 2012
For so long I felt uninspired, it was like my brain had bloggers block. I prayed God would send me some wisdom and a dash of creativity to launch my blog in a new direction, because the truth is I love writing. It gives me a way to release emotions that otherwise have no place to go. I can't stress enough how much I missed it since Isaiah came home from deployment number one. During that first deployment I wasn't working and had time every single day to write my blog, as well as reading other blogs & building relationships with my fellow bloggers.
Since moving to Virginia and starting work right away, my free time was basically next to none. Spending time with my husband in the rare moments when we both weren't working took priority. I am glad it did because he was only home for a few months and in February 2011 he deployed for the second time and was gone for an excruciatingly long eleven months. The day he left marked the beginning of the hardest year of both of our lives. Even though I had more free time with my husband deployed, I just couldn't seem to find the words.
My faith and our marriage were both tested and there were so many times when I felt like giving up entirely. There was such an utter sense of hopelessness and my heart ached only for us to finally have some time together. When it was finally time for him to come home, it didn't even feel real. I couldn't actually grasp the fact until I was driving to Naval Station Norfolk to pick him up. Our first two weeks together were perfect and after that reintegration really began.
Sometimes when I think back on it all, it seems like a bad dream, a blip in time. Although while going through it, it felt like the longest eleven months of my life. I am so thankful to God for getting us both through it and bringing him back to me safely. You know the funny thing about love is, you think you love someone more than anything and yet somehow as you go though life and endure it's hardships that love grows even deeper. You realize you love that person even more than you thought possible, and this realization makes you thankful for that love. I look at my husband now and can't believe how far we've come. I wonder how I got so lucky. What did I do to deserve a love like ours?
I still don't know, and perhaps I never will but I am blessed and thankful for it. Sure we have our spats and plenty of obstacles have shown up in our path, but somehow God has gotten us through it all. After the hardest year of our lives he has blessed us with a beautiful little boy growing inside me. Every day is one day closer to meeting our son and our dream of finally having a family will soon be coming true. With every kick and movement I feel so lucky for all that the Lord has given us.
It is because of this gift that I choose to share our story with you all, the story of our love and our lives. As we embark on our newest adventure into parenthood, I want to remind myself to live in the moment. To soak in everything around me, embrace the changes, and enjoy the little things. Welcome to my new blog and I hope you all enjoy reading about the next part of our journey!