Thursday, November 4, 2010

Sometimes you just need a friend...

I think all milspouses would agree that being "married to the military," is by no means a walk in the park. We all have our good days, and then there are the days that no matter how hard you try, they seem to get the best of you. I've had alot of those days lately and am trying my best to stay positive. The last thing I want is to let Satan win by letting myself be miserable all the time, but there is only so much I can take before I start to lose it.

I waited a month to post anything about my husband's second deployment simply because I couldn't even find the words to describe how hurt and frightened I am for him to leave again. But I found that once I got it all off my chest, I felt so much better and I would like to say thank you to every single person who left me words of encouragement and offers of prayer. Reading your comments made me realize that although this is going to royally suck, somehow I will make it through the next year and few months.

I know that although my husband chose to join the navy, he did not choose to go on back to back deployments and spend nearly all of our first two years of marriage apart. I know he loves me and wishes nothing more than to be able to finally have a normal life together, but I also know that everything happens for a reason and for some reason my  hubby is leaving me again already. I am trying my best to be strong for him and not show how much this hurts me, but I will admit I have my days where finding the good in things can be really hard for me.

Today my husband emailed me from work and dropped yet another "bad news bomb," on me. I had already submitted my vacation for work during December and so had my hubby. We were going to be able to spend Christmas together and enjoy our last holiday together before his work ups begin. But nope, the navy decided that he can't take leave until December 29th, which means he will most likely have to work on Christmas day. So not only will he be gone for Christmas next year, but now we don't even get to spend it together this year either. :(

Seeing as I have no family here and hardly any friends, I will more than likely be spending my Christmas alone. I know this is something I should be used to by now, especially after spending every holiday since last October apart, but for some reason it just never gets easier. I couldn't help but get teary eyed when I read his message and realized now we wouldn't be able to take vacation at the same time.  I guess when it rains it pours, huh? 

Its days like today when I feel overwhelmed and realize theres no way I can deal with this lifestyle and keep my marriage in tact without the Lord's help. I may be strong, but I am not this strong and I know that only the Lord will be able to get me through the next year. I also know in my heart that he puts people in our lives for a reason, whether it be to make you laugh, comfort you when you cry, or just to listen when you need a friend. So thank you everyone for all the support and prayers...because sometimes, and especially on days like today, you just need a friend. :)




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8 comments:

  1. Always remember, God won't face you with anything you can't handle. He's showing you how strong you are and can be when you need to most.

    I will be facing back to backs as well. Keep your head up, keep smiling, rely on the comfort of family, friends and your followers to give you an 'uplift' when you need it.

    Focus on the time you have with him so that you don't beat yourself up when he's gone for focusing so much on him leaving.

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  2. You always have people there for you. It does suck, and it hurts. You are strong. You have already handled so much. That is why only certain people are given certain struggles. I am here if you need someone. We won't be going home for the holidays and I cook a bomb turkey. The door is always open. Do not be afraid to knock.

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  3. I will be praying for you. I have no idea how hard this is for you. You are a strong girl. You will make it.

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  4. I'm praying for you love and I did read your last post but blogger was being a butt and wouldn't let me comment. Anyway, I'm thinking of you and if you need anything, I'll do my best to be there for ya. Keep your head up and enjoy the time you have with the hubby before he leaves. You've got a great support system here and we all will be there to hold you if you need it =)

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  5. "Fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
    I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
    —Isaiah 41:10

    I know this is tough for you, even though I don't know how it feels. I have yet to be put in this situation. But you know what? You made it through the last one, and I know you CAN make it through this one. You have not only proven to yourself, but also to your husband, just how strong you are and can be, even when you don't want to be. Remember to keep your head up, and when things get tough, lean on God. He will not let you down.

    Like Christina said, God will not give you anything that you cannot handle. He will give you the strength you need to survive this. You are in my thoughts and prayers :)

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  6. Did he just get back recently??? =( ugh, I feel your pain... I really do. It doesn't ever get easier, no matter how many times the same craptastic things keep coming up....

    Well, if you ever get a whim... the crazies and I will be here for another year so you can just come hang out with us in Germany :D

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  7. Oh Brittany. I am so so so sorry to hear this news. I'm not sure how I missed your previous post but I just want you to know that you are in my prayers and that I know you are strong enough to handle this. Keep your head up and enjoy the time you have with your husband. I know it's not much consolation but just think how lucky you are to have a husband. So many women never find their special other half or for those that do, their time together is too short lived.

    Hugs as always!!! =]

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  8. Sorry love I haven't been around much! I'm so sorry to hear that!!! As much as we support our men and their duties, it still hurts when they get pulled away from us time and time again.

    Keep faith and trust in His plan :) You're a strong woman and we'll all be here to hold you up <3

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