Friday, October 14, 2011


I don't know what it is lately but I have been feeling completely overwhelmed. Between work and starting physical therapy for my hand I have been one busy bee. I'm going two to three times a week and I am really hoping I'll start to see some progress soon and get some flexibility and strength back in my hand.

On another note, My husband has been deployed for nearly seven months now and I can tell you that this deployment seems NEVER ENDING!!! It has been 204 days since we kissed goodbye and said, "Be seeing you." At first I could barely function and can openly admit I was more depressed than any other time in my life. 

I would have good days where I felt ok and bad days where I felt like I didn't even want to be living anymore. Days where it all seemed pointless and my husband and I were both so lonely, hurt and missing each other that we would fight over stupid little things. 

Now we are both doing better but most days I feel like I am just skating by. Going through the motions until he comes home and wishing I could wake up from this bad dream and have my husband back in my arms. 

I have been missing him so much lately and as much as I love to pretend I'm strong and everything is ok for his sake on the inside I am hurting. I never knew what it meant to love someone this much until I met my husband and have gone through 20 of the 26 months we've been married all alone. 

I keep telling myself the rest of this deployment is gonna fly by, but right now it can't go by fast enough. I want to have my best friend and the love of my life by my side to help me with the occurences of everyday life and to be there to lean on when times are hard.

I know this is all a learning and growing experience and I am trying to be faithful in the Lord and believe that there is some method to this madness...that there is some reason that we are going through all this now.

I know the bible says we will all face trials and tribulations but to be of good cheer because Jesus overcame the world, and I am trying very hard to trust in him and rely on his love and mercy to get me through the next few months. Please say a prayer for us, and ask the Lord to give us both strength. You can never underestimate the power of prayer! :)

As for everything else going on in my life, I am trying to find a balance and make time for myself. I have been spreading myself too thin the last few months and have gotten sick twice over a month and a half. I need more sleep, more relaxation and more "me time." I am always going, going, going and I feel like I'm gonna keel over and have a heart attack somedays!

So I apologize in advance if I haven't gotten the chance to comment on your blogs or keep in touch via facebook or twitter. Since my hand is still healing I have been trying not to use it too much and blogging tends to aggravate it. But I hope everyone has a great Friday!!

1 comment:

  1. This is the deployment that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friend. Yea...that's how I am feeling. I think I get so excited that we are another month closer that it kind of blinds me for a little bit and then when I realize we still have months left, I want to crawl into a hole and hide. Truth is though we are moving right along in this deployment and I truly think that it will be over before we know it. The holidays are going to be hard, but once we get through them...smooth sailing! (No pun intended =D) Cheer up girly. I'll pray for your strength, and you for mine!