Thursday, November 21, 2013

Finding a balance

Motherhood is like a balancing act, we have to juggle so much and at times it can be a bit overwhelming. Sooner or later you end up dropping something. Before I was a mom I never understood how parents could put their children above everything else, including their marriage. I used to read marriage blogs and take the advice to heart and really think about the scriptures they included. Looking back I now realize that it was so easy for me to misunderstand this phenomenon, because I simply wasn't a parent yet. Oh how naive I was...

The moment I became a mom everything changed, my whole mindset shifted. I was now responsible for this tiny human being who literally depended on me for everything.

{Meeting my son for the first time after a c-section and 12 hours apart. Sweetest moment of my life.♥}

 Although I don't want to make my husband feel left out or neglected, I had to put my babies needs above his and ten months later, still do. I'm not sure at what point this will change, or rather if it will just become less prominent in our lives. The love I feel for my son is greater than I ever imagined possible. Only now that I am a mother do I realize how easy it is to place everything else on the backburner, (including oneself) once you have a child. Of course I love my husband, its just a different type of love than what I feel for my son. I know its extremely important to continue working on our marriage so we don't drift apart, but right now I am really struggling with this.

{Our last trip sans children. Wilmington, NC April 2012}

We recently moved and our bills have increased, while my husband's paycheck hasn't. I can't even remember the last time we went on an actual date. It's hard because we're trying to be thrifty but we desperately need some adult time to ourselves, just to reconnect and take a break from it all. I know it has been hard on my husband and I am trying to remind myself of the idea that God should come first, my husband second and my child third. It's just so difficult for me! Have any of you ever struggled with this? I feel like I can't be the only one.

Of course being a military family as well we also face unique challenges. Living far away from family or friends I trust to watch my son makes it harder for my husband and I to have a simple date night. I know this is just a transitional period and it won't be this way forever, but it doesn't make me feel any better about where we are. I love my husband and my son, I just wish I could figure out a way to make them both feel loved and valued. For now all I can do is trust in God and keep putting one foot in front of the other. ♥

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1 comment:

  1. I totally understand this, and I feel like it's changed a bit more with a second baby. It's definitely not easy.