Learning the hard way

When you have a baby, you know that sooner or later they will get hurt. No matter how hard you try to shelter your little one and keep them out of harm's way sometimes it still happens. As a mama experiencing motherhood for the first time, this was not something I wanted to think about or believe for that matter. Unfortunately it turns out to be true.

My son is ten months old and has been crawling for a few months now. He is as all babies are: curious, playful and most of the time a bit mischievous. If there is something he shouldn't be getting into, he will. If it's dangerous he will plow ahead fearlessly, unaware of the danger and mini heart attack it causes his mama and daddy. I am learning all too quickly that little boys DO get hurt.

A few days ago I was cooking dinner and my husband was watching my son, (or supposed to be). He crawled into the kitchen while I was cooking and got into one of the cabinets. I called for my husband to come remove my son as some of our child locks on the cabinets don't work well and its dangerous for him to be underfoot. Right as he was coming to get him, my son pulled a pyrex dish from the cabinet and it landed right on his hand.

It all happened so fast. I didn't even realize he was strong enough to grab something that heavy! My heart raced as I heard the crash and looked down to see the glass dish on top of his chubby little fingers. I instantly felt like THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD. Why hadn't I gotten to him sooner? Why wasn't I paying better attention? And why (for the love of God) can't my husband watch him and keep him out of trouble while I'm cooking?! I manage to watch him all day without him getting hurt, so 30 minutes to an hour out of the day should be easy peezy, right?

After all these thoughts rush through my head I realize my son could really be hurt. He is a tough little guy but was crying pretty hard. He did calm down and go to bed after I gave him some tylenol and kissed his boo boo, but he kept waking up all night and I just knew he was in pain. We ended up having our very first trip to the er that night around 1:30 am. His poor little finger was swollen and bruised and again, my heart ached that my baby was hurting. The er doc basically did nothing, except provide a prescription for some motrin and tylenol. We headed home with the knowledge that there was not much we could do.

 At my son's follow up appointment yesterday his pediatrician ordered an xray and we found out my son actually had a fracture. Thankfully he will not need surgery since it's not on his growth plate and it should heal on its own in a few weeks. However, that still doesn't change the fact that this all could have been prevented. I try really hard to be a good mother to my son but on that day his dad and I both let him down. As parents we try to do the best we can and take care of our babies to the best of our abilities. We are still human however, and we too make mistakes. On this journey of parenthood I am so thankful for God's grace and forgiveness when I fail, and now more than ever I appreciate my mother and understand parenting is the hardest job there is!

I am taking this incident as a hard learned lesson and making sure to watch my son much more carefully. In the day to day of things its so easy to get distracted and not pay enough attention to our little ones. Unfortunately at this stage its so easy for him to get hurt and he wants to discover and touch anything he can get his chubby little hands on. It's my job as his mama to kiss his boo boo's and make them all better, but it's also my job to make sure he gets as few of them as possible. Today I am trying to forgive myself and focus on the things I AM doing right as a mother, including loving my sweet boy with all my heart. ♥