Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What do you think?

Ok, so I have an important story/question for you all...we just recently moved and I have been on the look out for a good church for awhile now. Its been really hard on me living so far from my home, family, friends and being out of my comfort zone in general, and I feel like I have sort of drifted into this desperate and miserable place. I haven't really been blogging much lately because most of the time I can't think of anything positive to say, so I decided it was finally time to get off my keister and find us a church.

One of my co-workers and I were talking about our beliefs one day over lunch and I shared with her that I am a Christian and in desperate need of a good church to call home. She shared with me an amazing story about how she became a believer and told me about her church, so I thought..."Ok, why not give it a try?" I did some research online and checked out their statement of faith and what they were about. It seemed like a great church and I was excited to go and see what it was all about with my own eyes.

So I brought my hubby along on Sunday and hoped for the best...and I LOVED it! The worship was amazing and very moving, and the atmosphere was one of excitement and a very welcoming feeling. I was really enjoying it and then we find out that the head pastor is gone speaking at another church in Texas, and a woman (whom I believe to be his wife) got up and gave the message. Now, being a newer christian I was not aware that this was taboo, but apparently my husband did not agree with this. He was a little upset and when we talked about it afterward I was pretty bummed because I really loved the service. So here is my question to you all...

I know that the bible makes some mention of women teaching women as all right, but not when it comes to teaching men. Call me dense, but I don't really understand what the big deal is...I mean, yes she did give the message on Sunday, but she is not the regular pastor, so why is it such an issue? I know things are in the bible for a reason, and there has to be some meaning to this but I'm wondering if this still applies in today's culture or if it was more of something that was frowned upon during the biblical time period? I'm just looking for some in put and advice because I really liked the church and want to go back again today for the Wednesday night service, but I'm just unsure if this is where I should be going. Like I said before I am a newer Christian, and although I have always believed in God I didn't grow up in church and I don't know everything there is to know about the bible, however there is one thing I do know...

I know that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins, so that I may have eternal life and be forgiven. He paid the ultimate price for you, for me, and every human being in this world and was the only person to walk this earth and not be guilty of sin. I know that my heavenly father loves me regardless of what mistakes I have made in the past or the ones I will make in the future, and that got me thinking....

Do you think Jesus cares whether I am a male or a female as long as I am spreading his gospel? Should it matter any more than the fact of whether I am black, white, asian, hispanic etc? I know that our one true purpose on this earth is to share the good news with others and lead by example, to live our lives in a Christ like way to the best of our abilities and help others who are struggling in this thing we call life. So I'm asking you, according to scripture and what goes on in your own churches...was it wrong for that woman to deliver the message at church this Sunday? I understand that what the bible says is important and thats why this is a heavy issue on my heart, but a part of me keeps thinking, "This is 2010! Is it seriously wrong for a woman to deliver a message in church?"

I was pretty amazed when I found out this was looked down upon but I know that I need to be open minded and follow scripture, so I was just hoping for some feed back. What are your thoughts? Any advice/thoughts will be greatly appreciated, but please don't leave me a negative comment. I realize not all of my readers may be Christians but this is my Faith and I am just trying to navigate my way through the many hurdles life leaves in my path...Thanks for reading and for any advice, its much appreciated! :)



  1. Obviously some people will have their own opinions on women giving the message. My husband is against it. I'm pretty sure God isn't going to care who gives the message as long as they are an educated, firm, baptized, and confessed believer. Remember that there is a lot in scripture that Christians do not follow and that there are many things that have evolved over the years. I think that you're safe having your own opinion on this. If you're still apprehensive, pray and read your Bible and then you may get the answer you're looking for.

    Best of luck in your search.

  2. Well, I'm Catholic, so women and wives are never an issue for us, but I've been to an Episcopalian chirch where the pastor was a woman. A priest whom I grew up with used to say "The Bible is true... and some of it actually happened." Why, in the year 2010AD can't we accept that the times have changed and women in fact ARE teachers. Women are so different in todays world as opposed to Biblical times.

    I would struggle greatly though if I were to walk into a Church and the preacher or pastor end up being a woman. That is just my upbringing though. Maybe that's all it is for your husband- it's different than they way things always were?

    Go where you feel comfortable though- it shouldn't matter! Also, congratulations for branching out and trying something new.

    If your husband wants to try something different as a result of this- The Tabernacle Church, on Granby St. in Norfolk is a FABULOUS non-denominational Christian church. I don't know how far away from you all that is, but outside of Catholic Churches it's one of the only ones I'm familiar with. I loved it.

  3. Good for you for trying out churches! We're in the same process. I'm a Christian and I don't see anything wrong with it, but I can see why it may be looked down upon.

  4. I think that's one of those questions were you have to do what you feel is right. Different churches interpret it differently. There are people who will tell you that women pastors are fine and when the Bible mentions that women shouldn't speak in church, they're referring to cultural norms or specific situations, and then there are people who will tell you that women have no place teaching at all in any church.

    My old church had a female associate pastor and I never minded when she spoke instead of our main male pastor. It's my favorite church I've ever attended, and I still miss it. In my opinion, everyone was given the command to go forth and preach the gospel, and women can be just as able and educated as men.

    You'll have to figure out with your husband what you guys are comfortable with it. It would be a shame to stop going to a church where you felt so connected just because a woman occasionally gives the message, but if your husband really truly feels that it's wrong, maybe you can try out some other churches.

  5. I am also a Christian, I grew up in a church but I couldn't tell you scriptures word for word, I couldn't tell you where to find a verse, lesson, or storie. I do however can tell you that my best friend went to a church and was married by a woman pastor. I agree it is 2010, I personally don't beliee it's wrong for a woman to deliver a message in church. I also don't believe it's even worse when she's not the head pastor...but the pastors wife (assuming). :) All the churches I've ever been to if you go into the toddler room, the elementary rooms the leaders or "teachers" in the rooms are woman...

  6. Me and My Soliderman wrote a verse on my blog the other day and I cannot stop thing about it. She hit the nail on the head when I was talking about attend a Muslim service.

    Let me tell you, I was thinking just the other day how thankful I am that "there is no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Gal. 3:29) God isn't sexist and wants us all to come to Him and worship Him as equals. Praise the Lord!

    Hope this helps <3

  7. Different denominations have different beliefs about women being pastors or delivering the message in church. I'm personally ELCA Lutheran and we have women pastors, so that is what I have grown up with and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    That being said, I also understand why certain denominations don't allow women to do that. I don't agree with it, but I respect it. I think you and your husband need to decide together if a church having a woman deliver the message is a dealbreaker for you. He may have just been surprised that a woman was allowed to give the message...

    Sorry I don't have more advice =/

  8. I would say that I am a fairly new believer as well. And I can say that I have never really heard a woman pastor. But that doesn't mean that a woman cannot be a pastor. I believe that Jesus works in women just as much as men and if he puts it on your heart that you are to be a pastor, that that is your calling! I would also say that Jesus was radical in how he treated women. He "broke the rules" when it came to women. He cared for women as much as he did for men. He treated them equally. I would think that women would be able to preach just as much as men can. I think that it is more of a society thing than a biblical thing. While it may be different in the old testament, I think that rules have changed. And Jesus died for all of our sins and he made us all equal. And being equal in God's eyes makes it so any of us can preach the gospel.
    Sorry that was a little long winded!!

  9. my father in law is really knowledgable about things like this! When he gets home from work tonight Ill ask him. I'm sure he can be a big help.

    I never really thought about it, but now that you bring it up, I've never been to a church has had a female speak- except for in youth group. I wonder if that counts?

  10. This is something I have struggled with for a while now, women not being allowed to teach [men]. I know that in the Bible Paul talks about how the woman should not be allowed to speak/teach, that it is the man's place, but I still struggle with accepting that. I know that men are supposed to be spiritual leaders, and that women are not, but I still feel that if God has given you something to say, you should be allowed to deliver that in a message, be it at church or somewhere else. I agree with you, God doesn't discriminate against you if you are male, female, white, black, etc. because if you are spreading His good news it doesn't matter what you look like! My mom is prophetic and we used to belong to a church a while back (it fell apart about 8 yrs. ago) and she had several messages that she felt led to give the church pastor. I won't go into details, it caused a huge riff amongst people, but I know that she was looked down upon for wanting to speak to the congregation, and to the pastor, simply because she was a WOMAN. I agree that there is a place and a time for everything, and perhaps women are not supposed to be pastors, but for goodness sakes, if they are given a word from the Lord, who are men to keep them from giving it?! I find it hard in this day and age that so many Christian men take what Paul said in the Scriptures to the extreme when it comes to women. Anyways, just my two cents worth, hope it helped at least a little! If you ever have questions or need advice you can ask me and I'll do my best to help!

  11. Thank you everyone who commented! I have been praying about it and I really feel like its not that big of a deal and would like to go back to this church. Tonight I am going to attend a Wednesday night bible study with two of my co-workers and I'm very excited about it. I talked with my husband about it and although he wasn't happy that she spoke, he agreed its not really a deal breaker and that he would give the church another chance. :) I agree with a lot of what you all said and I appreciate the input sooo much! I know Jesus loves us all and doesn't care whether we're male, female, black, white etc. and I really think that women not speaking in church was more of a cultural norm back then, than something that is wrong. Obviously times have changed and women have a much larger role in society today than ever before, and I believe that includes the church. Although I agree that I probably wouldn't be comfortable with a female head pastor, I see nothing wrong with females giving the message once in awhile and spreading God's word. Thank you again everyone! :)

  12. glad you worked it out! I talked to my mother in law anyway, because I was curious to hear what she had to say about it. Basically, men and women have different jobs, mens job is to lead the church and be the head of the household. While we as women are the care taker. We are each held to our standard. But I don't think its wrong for women to lead everyonce in awhile. But like you said i think i'd prefer a male lead pastor! mainly because its what i grew up with

  13. there will always be some believers that think that a woman should not lead a church but i honestly think ( like LT said ) god dont care who is giving out his word as long as its getting out there and in the right context of course. I have had many woman pastors and i feel that they can lead a church as well as a male

  14. From what I have studied it seems that the belief that women shouldn't preach or teach in the church stems from the book of Corinthians (it also says women should always wear headcoverings among other things). Corinthians was written to a specific people, the Corinthians in fact, at a specific time. At that time the women of Corinth were harlots and so full of sin that it would have been entirely wrong for any of them to speak up in church, because they would have only spread false teachings. It doesn't apply to us the same way that it applied to them. We have to use prayer and discernment when studying the bible to know when to take things literally, when to learn a lesson from another's mistake within the biblical story or when to take things as symbolism.
    It shouldn't matter who you are learning from as long as everything they say is backed up by prayer and the bible.
    Hope this helps!

  15. This has been a constant struggle for women in the church. The way that I heard it was this: Paul wrote to one of the churches saying that the women needed to refrain from speaking in the church, as well as teaching others because they were "leading others astray" this then became the go to text whenever a woman wanted to preach. However, if you look at it from a historical context, women weren't formally educated in the ways of the church, the Bible, and the laws. When you don't know your subject matter that well because you're not allowed to be taught, but you feel the need to share your faith, of course things are going to not end up perfectly! Paul wasn't so much saying that women shouldn't speak at all, he was saying that they shouldn't speak because they weren't taught how to speak. Now that we have evolved and have so many opportunities to learn whatever it is we want to, a woman should have as much right as a man to speak. Unfortunately, when it comes to most churches, they forget to look at spiritual text in a historical context, instead taking verbatim the verses and trying to apply all of them to life now. However, that's another rant for another day lol. I hope this helped out a little!

  16. If you were touched and felt her words ring with truth and sincerity, nothing else matters. Maybe that was taboo in 1890, but today I see absolutely nothing wring with that!

  17. I loved reading all these comments and getting everyone's take on the matter. My preacher is a woman, and she's one of the best I've ever had.

    This is a very sensitive issue to me. In fact, it's one of the reasons my ex-bf and I broke up. He does not agree that women can be ministers. I took that personally, as in he thought that because I'm a woman, God couldn't use me to speak His word. I saw that as him (the ex) trying to limit God. He (the ex) saw it as me being out of tune with God's word. I agree with what Jordan said. There are well-meaning people who disagree about this issue, but, in Christ, there is neither male nor female. We are all one.