The perfect name

When you find out you're expecting, choosing the perfect name can feel like a monumental task. I wanted a name that was beautiful and sophisticated that could grow with our baby girl as she got older. A name that sounds adorable as an infant, but also respectable as an adult. When I was pregnant with my son, we were able to choose his first name the very same day we found out he was a boy. This time around it took us a little longer, ok actually a lot longer, to agree and find a name we both loved.

 I scoured baby name sites and tried to seek inspiration from family and friends but one name just kept coming back to me and I knew it was the one. My husband on the other hand needed a little more convincing, so I kept giving him other options. After about a week or two of this he said, "You know what, I actually think I like this name best..." and I was so happy because I absolutely love the name we chose. We have yet to decide on her middle name, but our baby girl's first name will be Addison. I am in love with her name and can't wait to meet our sweet girl. How did you choose your baby's name?

Moments

Last night I was looking at random photos on my computer, mostly from my instagram account when I realized how quickly time has passed over the last year. Going through old photos of Jeremiah makes my heart ache something fierce. Childhood is so fleeting and there's nothing more bittersweet than watching your children grow up. It's a privilege that tugs on your heartstrings and makes you remember to revel in each moment, because one day those moments will be gone. One day they won't be so little and you'll look back on those memories and cherish them. 

Jeremiah turns 15 months old today and I can hardly belive that as I type it out. There are days when motherhood tests my patience, my spirit and my sanity. Moments that make me want to cry as I lay in bed after a hard and frustrating day. And then there are the moments that make up for it all. Seeing him smile and splash in the bathtub, watching him dance to Frozen...The enormous smile when he wakes up in the morning, his excited little dance as he throws his arms in the air and reaches for me to pick him up, and the feel of his soft chubby cheeks as I kiss him good morning 100 times. These are the moments I live for, the moments that make everything worth it. And I'm so lucky I get to have them. ♥ 

New Beginnings

I can't believe it's already January! The new year always means a chance to start fresh and lots of changes and this year is no exception. In just a few short days My baby boy will be one year old and I simply can't wrap my head around it. 

We had a wonderful holiday season and I have been soaking up every moment with my sweet little boy because my days as a stay at home mama are numbered. 

By the grace of God I have found a full time banking job and will be going back to work in the next few weeks. I am experiencing so many emotions when it comes to this and although I was thrilled to be offered the position I wanted, my heart is also breaking at the thought of placing my baby in daycare. 

I may have cried the other night when I actually sat down and realized I will only see him for about 2 hours each day during the week. I don't know how I'm going to handle it but please pray I find the strength. ♥

Right now I'm in the process of trying to find great and affordable child care and its proving to be more difficult than I initially thought. Some places want over $900 per month. Its literally insane. 

I'm just trying to navigate through these feelings and situation because its all new to me. I remember so many times over the last year seeing friends who had babies have to leave them and go back to work, and how incredibly lucky I felt to be able to stay home with my son. The last year has truly been a gift and one that I will cherish all the rest of my days. 

However, each chapter in our lives must come to an end and sadly this one is ending. Although I'd love to stay home with my son longer, its for the best for me to work. So now I will be starting a new adventure and I hope its a good one! :)

{Ringing in the New Year with my little family}

I can't wait to see what this year brings for my family and I  am choosing to see the blessings even when its hard. I hope you're all having a wonderful 2014 so far. ♥

Love/Do Not Love (Christmas Edition)

Today I'm sharing my Love/Do not love list {Christmas Edition} and linking up over at Chambanachik. 

Here's my list.

Love:

-This little guy. I am so excited to experience Bubby's first christmas with him and make it truly wonderful. 

-Our Christmas tree. To me the tree is so much more than a place to put presents on Christmas morning. It's a tradition and there is something so beautiful about it. As a child I used to bring my favorite stuffed animals and lay under our tree, mesmerized by all the twinkly lights and pretty ornaments. These days I love seeing the wonder on my son's face when he stares at our tree. ♥

-Decorating our house. This year is the first time we have an actual house, not a tiny 600 square foot apartment. That means lights, tiny christmas trees and candy canes out front. It was a fun thing for our family to do together and something I will look forward to every year. :) 

-Holiday flavored coffee creamer. Peppermint mocha has to be my favorite flavor, and in the early mornings after waking up several times a night with my son, coffee is a gift from God! 

-Visiting Santa. Since it's Bubby's first Christmas of course I was looking forward to this. He was a little scared to sit on Santa's lap all by himself so Dad had to hold him and just stand next to Santa. Luckily we still got a big smile from him and have a cute picture as a keepsake. 

-The holiday spirit. Not everyone, but most people are a little bit kinder this time of year and that just warms my heart. A little kindness can go a long way! 

-Online shopping. Living far away from my family means online shopping is a lifesaver. This year I started my shopping in beginning of November so I could make sure to get everything delivered on time. I also got lots of deals including free shipping. Although it's not as fun as picking out gifts in person and wrapping them it still makes me happy to be able to get my family a few things. 

-Christmas movies. I love watching Christmas movies this time of year. Some of my favorites are It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street (the original), Holiday Inn, Home Alone, The Grinch, The Holiday, and The Family Stone. 

Do Not Love:

-Being far away from my family. I don't like this any time of year but Christmas is when it makes my heart hurt the most. I wish there was a way we could afford to spend Christmas together, but moving and readjusting all our bills just made it impossible this year. 

-This incredibly warm Florida weather. It has been in the 80's this past week and I absolutely hate it. One thing I loved about winter in VA was that it was actually cold and sometimes snowed. I am definitely missing that this year. 

-Not knowing anyone. This may make me seem like a loser, but oh well. I have not made a single friend here in Florida. Not a one. Since I'm currently a sahm its been pretty difficult to meet anyone. We don't live on base and for some reason all our neighbors are older and retired. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't lonely and wishing for a little companionship other than my husband and son. 

-Stressing about money. When you live on one income its always a challenge to try and stay on budget but this can be especially hard during the holidays. Between the holiday meals, buying gifts, decorations and just doing family things together it can all add up. I wish there was a way to make it a little less expensive! 

Well that's my list! What are you loving/not loving this holiday season? 

Finding a balance

Motherhood is like a balancing act, we have to juggle so much and at times it can be a bit overwhelming. Sooner or later you end up dropping something. Before I was a mom I never understood how parents could put their children above everything else, including their marriage. I used to read marriage blogs and take the advice to heart and really think about the scriptures they included. Looking back I now realize that it was so easy for me to misunderstand this phenomenon, because I simply wasn't a parent yet. Oh how naive I was...

The moment I became a mom everything changed, my whole mindset shifted. I was now responsible for this tiny human being who literally depended on me for everything.

{Meeting my son for the first time after a c-section and 12 hours apart. Sweetest moment of my life.♥}

 Although I don't want to make my husband feel left out or neglected, I had to put my babies needs above his and ten months later, still do. I'm not sure at what point this will change, or rather if it will just become less prominent in our lives. The love I feel for my son is greater than I ever imagined possible. Only now that I am a mother do I realize how easy it is to place everything else on the backburner, (including oneself) once you have a child. Of course I love my husband, its just a different type of love than what I feel for my son. I know its extremely important to continue working on our marriage so we don't drift apart, but right now I am really struggling with this.

{Our last trip sans children. Wilmington, NC April 2012}

We recently moved and our bills have increased, while my husband's paycheck hasn't. I can't even remember the last time we went on an actual date. It's hard because we're trying to be thrifty but we desperately need some adult time to ourselves, just to reconnect and take a break from it all. I know it has been hard on my husband and I am trying to remind myself of the idea that God should come first, my husband second and my child third. It's just so difficult for me! Have any of you ever struggled with this? I feel like I can't be the only one.

Of course being a military family as well we also face unique challenges. Living far away from family or friends I trust to watch my son makes it harder for my husband and I to have a simple date night. I know this is just a transitional period and it won't be this way forever, but it doesn't make me feel any better about where we are. I love my husband and my son, I just wish I could figure out a way to make them both feel loved and valued. For now all I can do is trust in God and keep putting one foot in front of the other. ♥

Learning the hard way

When you have a baby, you know that sooner or later they will get hurt. No matter how hard you try to shelter your little one and keep them out of harm's way sometimes it still happens. As a mama experiencing motherhood for the first time, this was not something I wanted to think about or believe for that matter. Unfortunately it turns out to be true.

My son is ten months old and has been crawling for a few months now. He is as all babies are: curious, playful and most of the time a bit mischievous. If there is something he shouldn't be getting into, he will. If it's dangerous he will plow ahead fearlessly, unaware of the danger and mini heart attack it causes his mama and daddy. I am learning all too quickly that little boys DO get hurt.

A few days ago I was cooking dinner and my husband was watching my son, (or supposed to be). He crawled into the kitchen while I was cooking and got into one of the cabinets. I called for my husband to come remove my son as some of our child locks on the cabinets don't work well and its dangerous for him to be underfoot. Right as he was coming to get him, my son pulled a pyrex dish from the cabinet and it landed right on his hand.

It all happened so fast. I didn't even realize he was strong enough to grab something that heavy! My heart raced as I heard the crash and looked down to see the glass dish on top of his chubby little fingers. I instantly felt like THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD. Why hadn't I gotten to him sooner? Why wasn't I paying better attention? And why (for the love of God) can't my husband watch him and keep him out of trouble while I'm cooking?! I manage to watch him all day without him getting hurt, so 30 minutes to an hour out of the day should be easy peezy, right?

After all these thoughts rush through my head I realize my son could really be hurt. He is a tough little guy but was crying pretty hard. He did calm down and go to bed after I gave him some tylenol and kissed his boo boo, but he kept waking up all night and I just knew he was in pain. We ended up having our very first trip to the er that night around 1:30 am. His poor little finger was swollen and bruised and again, my heart ached that my baby was hurting. The er doc basically did nothing, except provide a prescription for some motrin and tylenol. We headed home with the knowledge that there was not much we could do.

 At my son's follow up appointment yesterday his pediatrician ordered an xray and we found out my son actually had a fracture. Thankfully he will not need surgery since it's not on his growth plate and it should heal on its own in a few weeks. However, that still doesn't change the fact that this all could have been prevented. I try really hard to be a good mother to my son but on that day his dad and I both let him down. As parents we try to do the best we can and take care of our babies to the best of our abilities. We are still human however, and we too make mistakes. On this journey of parenthood I am so thankful for God's grace and forgiveness when I fail, and now more than ever I appreciate my mother and understand parenting is the hardest job there is!

I am taking this incident as a hard learned lesson and making sure to watch my son much more carefully. In the day to day of things its so easy to get distracted and not pay enough attention to our little ones. Unfortunately at this stage its so easy for him to get hurt and he wants to discover and touch anything he can get his chubby little hands on. It's my job as his mama to kiss his boo boo's and make them all better, but it's also my job to make sure he gets as few of them as possible. Today I am trying to forgive myself and focus on the things I AM doing right as a mother, including loving my sweet boy with all my heart. ♥

Making Memories

One of the highlights from our trip home was actually being able to attend my niece's birthday party. She is three and I've never been able to be there for her birthday so it was something very special to me. 

We got pizza and breadsticks for dinner and all the Nieces played together and ran around the way kids do. I got to see some old family friends there as well and it was nice just chatting and catching up with everyone. 

My favorite part of the night was when Bella opened her presents. I got to hold her on my lap and help her open her gifts. It was so special! Seeing the look on her face when she opened the present we got her was priceless! It's a memory I'll always look back on and cherish. 

I  am very thankful for the opportunities we had to make new memories with our loved ones over the last week. :) 

xoxo

Happy 3 Months!

Yesterday my baby boy turned 3 months. He is growing up before my eyes and already I've become pretty sentimental about it. I hate to admit it but I've spent the better part of the last two days just admiring him while he nurses, trying to take in all that he is. 

There have been more than a few times when I get an overwhelming sense of sadness at the thought of him growing up so fast, and I cant lie and say I haven't shed a few tears over it. When I look at him my heart feels though it might burst at any moment and I am constantly amazed at my love for this tiny human. 

He is starting to smile more now and the mornings are my favorite. He wakes happy (and hungry of course) and after I nurse him I love to give him kisses and play in our bed for a bit before we get up. I know these days won't last forever, and all too soon they will be gone so I am trying to enjoy them and remember everything I can about my time spent with  my little man. :) 

He has already learned to roll over from his tummy to his back, and we are working with him on "tummy time" so he can strengthen his muscles and learn to sit up and crawl in the next few months. Before we know it he will be moving around and getting into everything! ;) 

But for now I'd like him to stay my baby for just a bit longer...I love you my sweet Jeremiah. ♥ 

A bit lonely at times

Maybe it's because I have been cooped up inside my house for the last week, or maybe it's because I live 2,700 miles away from home but I have been feeling so lonely lately. I feel like I have no friends, which I know isn't true, but it just seems like everyone is just too busy for me. I stop to think about the friends I had throughout middle/high school and how close we were. We did everything together...sports, football games, parties, shopping and just had fun. I know that after high school things change and we all have to actually grow up but I guess it just makes me sad when I look back at those friendships that have disintegrated over the years.

After high school I made other friends and became really close with them, only to drift apart once we moved to Virginia and they all still live in California. Being a navy wife really can be lonely. Sometimes you feel like no one understands what you're going through. I come from a family of all girls and my sisters, my mom and my nieces are all extremely close. My husband doesn't really understand this bond because 1) He is a man and 2) His family is not very sentimental. They are close in their own way but not the way my family is. Everyone kind of just does their own thing. It's hard sometimes that he doesn't understand how much I miss them and I feel like there's a piece of me that is missing when I'm away from them.

My mother always used to say, "Be nice to your sisters, cause one day they'll be your best friends," and she was right. As I have seen so many of my friendships fade away my family has always been there no matter what. Are they perfect? HELL NO! But do I love them dearly? Of course! Looking back at so many memories of my childhood and my adult life, I just wouldn't be the same without them. I want to raise my future children to love one another and embrace family the way I was taught. I want us all to share a closeness and most of all to be close enough to my family that they can know and love my future children as well. I hope the navy makes this possible next year for us when we are supposed to pcs. Keep us in your prayers and I will try not to be so melancholy when I write. :) 

Last Day of Freedom

Today is officially the last day of my hubby's leave and we both go back to work tomorrow! I am amazed at how fast the last two weeks have flown by and that he has already been back in Virginia for a month now. Why does it seem like time goes by insanely fast when they are home but drags on endlessly while they are gone??? It's something I'll never understand! 

Although it has been so nice to have a month off of work I'll admit I was starting to get a little bored. I am excited to see all my coworkers and to be making some money again! :) I'm hoping things are less stressful once I go back but after talking to some of my coworkers I suspect things have only gotten worse. I'm just gonna keep praying and trying to stay positive and get through each day so I'm hoping that will help. 

Since today was our last "official" day of freedom we spent it relaxing at home & watching movies. We also took a drive by the ocean and got some yummy pizza and wings for dinner. Now I'm off to snuggle with my hubby before we both have to hit the hay! ♥ Goodnight! 

Family

"Family means putting your arms around each other and being there." 

Since I kind of slacked off in the blogging department over the last few months I never did get around to sharing photos of my trip home for Christmas while my husband was deployed. I recently learned how to make photo collages & wanted to share this one of my beautiful nieces & sisters. 

It's still so odd to me that I live 2,700 miles away and can't see them more than once or twice a year. We are all very close and when I lived in California we were always together. ♥ 

I miss them all dearly & hubby & I are hoping, praying, & keeping our fingers crossed for San Diego orders next year if hubby's pts gets approved.

 Please say a prayer for us so we can be close to home & our wonderful families. We miss them all so much!

Are you lucky enough to live close to family?

Homecoming Happiness

After 321 days of being apart my husband is finally home!  He has been home for almost three weeks already & I am definitely over due for a homecoming post! I can't believe how fast this month has gone & that next week his leave will be over & we'll both be headed back to work. Time really does fly when you're having fun. ♥

The whole week leading up to his return I was in a state of disbelief. He had been gone almost an entire year and I just couldn't grasp the concept that in a few short days I would have my husband back again. I wasn't as nervous or stressed as the first deployment. It really didn't hit me until the morning of when Sarah and I were driving to the base and I started to get those infamous butterflies that make you feel like your about to be sick. It was cold and windy when we got there but the sun was shining and it was definitely a beautiful day!

I thought I'd share a few photos from that very special day. I hope you enjoy! :o)

This was the homecoming sign I made for my sailor. He loved it! 

Here's the ship when we could finally start to see it pull in. Probably one of the best things I've ever seen in my life. ♥

Here's Sarah and I all smiles while they are slowly getting closer! :)

At this point I was so anxious for them to hurry up and finish pulling in! Lol

I was waiting very impatiently if you couldn't tell. ;)

And finally they started to moor the ship and I knew it wasn't much longer. ♥

To my surprise my hubby was one of the first to get off the ship since he won Blue Jacket of the year.

Here's our first hug :)

And of course the kiss♥ I waited 11 months for that kiss & it was worth every moment!

I couldn't be happier to have the love of my life home safe & sound again.

Although the obstacles we faced over the last year often seemed insurmountable I am proud & thankful to say we survived our 2nd deployment (and a hell of a long one at that!). I couldn't have done it without God, my family, friends, bloggy loves & of course that man of mine. I have grown so much stronger over the last year and learned so much about myself and love in general. No matter how hard things are when you love someone and are willing to keep going you can get through anything. 

Homecoming Happenings

As my husband's homecoming gets closer and closer it's the little things that have finally made it start to feel real for me. Last night I finished the amazing homecoming sign I made for him, (with the help of the always lovely Brittany, my bloggy & real life friend & her AWESOME cricut) and I am so proud of how it turned out. I hope he loves it and it makes him smile. :) I would post a photo but my dear husband actually reads my blog so I'll have to keep you in suspense until the official homecoming post, sorry to be a tease! ;)

I also got an email last night from our FRG about the end of deployment party and I am so excited. This deployment has seriously felt NEVER-ENDING and so the fact that it is finally almost over is a little hard for my brain to process. I attended a homecoming readiness and reintegration meeting through the fleet and family center and it was actually really great to talk about the feelings this event brings out in all of us wives waiting eagerly for our husbands' returns. The excitements, fears, worries, things we plan to do etc. 

We actually wrote them all out on some posters and the women from fleet & family took them to the ships and had the same meeting with the sailors on board my husbands ship. I got to send along with them a card to be hand delivered and I loved hearing from my husband how much he loved it. Today they had the meeting and he said it was actually helpful and made him feel like it was finally real as well. He also informed me of a few sweet things he has planned for me the day after he gets home. ♥ 

 Although my husband is far from perfect, (as am I) he is the one person on this planet that really gets me. He knows me inside & out and I am always amazed at how hard he tries to show me his love. Sure we've had more than our fair share of disagreements over the last 11 months but any couple who says they "never fought" during deployment or that they have a "perfect marriage" is full of crap. (Excuse my french).

Marriage is hard. You have  to consistently try to be a kind and loving spouse, to make time for one another, to make each other feel loved & valued and all that is hard enough without throwing the military & never-ending deployments into it. The navy has thrown a wrench in our marriage several times and there were a few I'll admit I wasn't sure we'd make it through, but somehow we have.

Were there times we both wanted to call it quits? Sure. Giving up is always easier than trying. But I am so proud of us both because neither one of us did. I love my husband 100 times more today than I did two years ago when we said "I do." We've been through hell and back but it's all part of our journey. The love we share isn't perfect, but it is real. And for me that is more than enough. ♥

Almost There

I can't believe it. In a few short weeks we will have survived deployment number 2. This has been an extremely long one and my husband's ship has made history for being on the longest naval deployment since WWII. As crazy and hard as it has been I am thankful for this journey. I've learned so much about myself over the past year and more than ever I have faith in the Lord and my marriage.

I hate to admit it but I'll be completely honest in saying there was a big part of me that felt like we wouldn't make it through this deployment. I am still amazed that we did. I truly believe God used our circumstances to stretch us out of our comfort zones, test our limits and make us reach out for him. I know there's no way I'd have survived the last year without his love and the love and support of my amazing family and friends I have made here in Virginia. For all of these things I am incredibly grateful. 

Now that we are nearing the end, I ask for prayers to give me the strength to get through the last leg of this deployment and to help my husband and I have a smooth readjustment period. I am really nervous about him coming home and us being "married" again. I have lived completely alone the last year and know that sharing my space and just getting used to each other again is going to be difficult at times. Thank you and the prayers will be much appreciated. :) 

And last but not least I'm sorry for being a ghost over the last year. Blogging used to be my outlet but I found that the only way I could get through this never-ending deployment was not to dwell on how depressed or lonely I was, but just to live my life. Even if that meant not writing out every detail of it. Anyway, if anyone still even reads this, Thank you. ♥

A Real Life Love Story

"Do you think that our love can create miracles?" 

"Yes I do. That's what brings you back to me each time..."

"Do you think our love can take us away together?"

"I think our love can do anything we want it to..."

Last night I was perusing news stories online and came across a video that literally brought tears to my eyes and made me miss my husband so very much.

It's the real life love story of a couple married for 72 years, and they were together right until the very end. 

 It was truly a special story. 

Watch the video HERE and be sure to grab a tissue! ♥

Home

"Another summer day has come and gone away, in Paris and Rome...but I wanna go home. May be surrounded by a million people, I still feel all alone. Just wanna go home, oh I miss you, you know."

It's Thursday lovelies, and you know what that means. Head on over to Goodnight Moon and link up with whatever song moves you this week.

Lately I've been listening to my Michael Buble station on pandora before I go to sleep each night. I can never get tired of his silky smooth voice and sexy smile... ;) This song makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and makes me miss my husband even more than I already do, if that's even possible.

The words seem kind or eerily perfect for our situation right now. He has had the opportunity to visit amazing places and see beautiful things, but all he wants to do is come home to me. And that's all I can dream about. Until we meet again my love, know I'll be seeing you in my dreams each night.

"Another winter day has come and gone away in either Paris and Rome...and I wanna go home, let me go home. And I'm surrounded by a million people, I still feel alone. let me go home, oh I miss you, you know."

"Let me go home...I've had my run, baby I'm done...I gotta go home. Let me go home, it'll all be alright, I'll be home tonight, I'm coming back home."

One and Only

It would be an understatement to say this whole album is wonderful. 

 

Every song makes you feel something, and her sultry voice brings chills down my spine.

 

This song is currently stuck in my brain. ♥

 

  I hope you love it as much as I do. 

You've been on my mind
I grow fonder every day,
lose myself in time just thinking of your face
God only knows why it's taking me so long
to let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never try to forget your past
And simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worth it to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance

To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts

Have I been on your mind?
You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time
At the mention of my name, will I ever know
How it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me which ever road I chose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never tried to forgive your past
And simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance

To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile
Until the end starts

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've earned it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart
(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've earned it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worth it to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance

To prove I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts
Come and give me the chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts.

Baby You're a Firework

I don't know why but music has always had an inexplicable ability to amplify my feelings. For me it's not just about the beat or the artist, but more about the lyrics...they breathe life into a simple melody and suddenly you can see it all before your very own eyes. 

I have had Katy Perry's "California Dreams" album since last summer when it debuted and loved nearly every song on it. When they started playing "Firework" on the radio I was a bit surprised seeing as it wasn't one of my favorites. I never really stopped to listen to what she was singing about. 

Friday night I was driving to my friend Sarah's house, listening to that album when the song came on. And for the first time in probably 1,000 times of hearing this song I just stopped and listened. 

It may sound corny, or even silly to some...but the lyrics to this song inspired me on that sweltering hot Friday night. The last two years have been the most challenging and emotionally scarring years of my life. I have endured more pain and suffering than I would wish on anyone. 

Milspouses don't joke when they say this life isn't for everyone. It takes a special kind of breed to withstand the hardships, challenges, and curve balls the military lifestyle throws your way on a daily basis. You have to learn to grow thick skin, adapt to changes, make new friends and learn to live in the moment and always appreciate the little things. You learn not to take any time with the ones you love for granted.

Nothing can ever be planned, because once you start planning the military decides to change the plan and mess everything up. More often than not half the bed is cold and you find yourself making dinner for one instead of two.You spend months/years away from the love of your life that you will never get back. There is always a fear and uncertainty when they deploy and you wonder if God will bring them home safe and back into your arms once more.

But somehow, (and I am still trying to figure out how) you keep going. You keep getting up out of bed every day and breathing in and out. You find a way to live, even with all the craziness the military adds into the background of your life. 

I have had to dig deep inside myself to make it through the past two years, but I've had to dig even deeper over the last 4 months. I will be completely candid in saying these back to back and early 2nd deployment have nearly killed me. I think devastated would be the right term. 

But I am still here. I am still standing. And I am NOT giving up. 

There's something inside me that refuses to let the universe win and ruin my happiness and my marriage. Just like I told my husband yesterday, "It's you and me against the world." ♥

So when life has got you down and it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, just tell yourself, "Baby you're a firework."

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe"


Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon